(A young man comes in looking to apply for a job. He asks for an application, which is given to him.)
Man: “Can I get a pen, too?”
(My manager does not like to accept applications from people who can’t be bothered to be prepared for a simple application. We are also located next to a dollar store that sells pens for under a dollar.)
Manager: “Yes. Just wait one moment. We are extremely busy right now.”
(We carry out business and have very little intention to get the man a pen from the back.)
Man: (after standing next to the register for another 15 minutes) “Oh, my god!”
(He went over to the condiment section, squeezed a massive amount of ketchup into the spill tray, grabbed a fork, and then proceeded to fill in the application with ketchup. Needless to say, we did not hire him.)
A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, “Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late! Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late!” As she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again. As she ran she once again began to pray, “Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late… But please don’t shove me either!”
American Engineer, “actually Fisher (the pen company) spent the money developing the space pen. We took it to space for 6 bucks a pop. Given the fact that they are still selling them, I think they made a good investment. And by the way, having graphite pencil shavings floating around in an oxygen rich environment in zero gravity seems like a pretty bad idea. Ask the families of Gus Grissom, Ed White or Roger Chafee or anyone on the Apolo team what they think.”