The Daily Joke Thread

Found on GearBest.
See the blue box.

lol, needs resize for all mobile users to see it too:

Dear Gearbest. I recently purchased a Haikelite MT01 MT-G2. It’s broken. Light flickers on turbo mode. I’ve included a video. Please scroll down to “Six Brightness Levels” for demonstration.

https://www.gearbest.com/led-flashlights/pp_900422.html

Yup, it's busted!

Maybe it’s so bright that the voltage sagged and its low-voltage blink kicked in. :smiley:

If this were combined with a Uranusfire it would become a potent long range weapon…

Huh
I have tested such job on my laptop

Sorry that multiple personality disorder.

found this

“And YES, I FREAKING KNOW THAT SCHIZOPHRENIA IS NOT THE SAME AS MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, OKAY? But it’s a longstanding common misconception that it is, and in everyday humour, the two are taken to be the same. THIS IS NOT JUST ME; check out these jokes:

I’m schizophrenic and so am I.

National Schizophrenic’s Convention: Anybody who’s everybody will be there!

If a schizophrenic threatens suicide, is it declared a hostage situation?

I may be schizophrenic but at least I have each other.

Paranoid schizophrenic: Are you staring at us?

Hell, one blogger even started a collection of schizophrenic jokes. Here’s a sample:

I’ve half a mind to go to that meeting on schizophrenia tonight.

When is a man two men? When he is beside himself.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I’m schizophrenic, and so am I.

I’m in two minds about that joke.

Woman: Will you still respect me in the morning?
Man: I’ve never respected you.

if u want to f*k the sky, u must teach ur as 2 FLY! :slight_smile:

There are 10 kinds of people in this world:
Those who understand binary, and those who don’t.

There are two kinds of people in this world:
Those who classify people into 2 groups, and those who don’t.

There are two kinds of people in this world:
Those who can extrapolate from insufficient data.

This made my day!

I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort

Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed

Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn’t mean the circus has left town

Whenever you leave behind failure, you’re doing good. If you think everything you’ve done is great, you’re probably dumb

There is a huge difference between a dog that is going to eat you in your mind and an actual dog that’s going to eat you

You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it

Take your risks now, as you grow older you become more fearful and less flexible. And I mean that literally. I hurt my knee this week on the treadmill, and it wasn’t even on

Try reading this funny comedian quotes! really made my day!

https://ponbee.com/funny-quotes/

Well it looks like I’ve completely misunderstood a famous joke for many many years.

Question: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Answer: To get to the other side!

Haha, that is just sooo funny!
Yeah, I just realised it’s a suicide joke.

There’s nothing like the joy on a kid’s face when he first sees the PlayStation box containing the socks I got him for Christmas.

The 3 stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus. He doesn’t believe in Santa Claus. He is Santa Claus.

“With God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!”

Well… you have Turkey Airlines. :stuck_out_tongue:

’pends on where you are, I guess.
butt, our local turkeys can outfly steelshot over 30 yards

(or that’s my excuse)

Okay, why’d I think that would land? (No pun intended.)

Looks like crappy “recorded it with a videocam offa my teevee” quality, but it’s all I could find offhand.

Figured at least BLFer herbtarlek would get it. :smiley:

Anyhoo, enjoy!