The Daily Joke Thread

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hIKARInoob
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Lightbringer wrote:
hIKARInoob wrote:
Well it looks like I’ve completely misunderstood a famous joke for many many years.

Question: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Answer: To get to the other side!

Haha, that is just sooo funny!
Yeah, I just realised it’s a suicide joke.

“With God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!”

Well… you have Turkey Airlines. Silly

chinooker
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‘pends on where you are, I guess.
butt, our local turkeys can outfly steelshot over 30 yards

(or that’s my excuse)

Lightbringer
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Okay, why’d I think that would land? (No pun intended.)

Looks like crappy “recorded it with a videocam offa my teevee” quality, but it’s all I could find offhand.

Figured at least BLFer herbtarlek would get it. Big Smile

Anyhoo, enjoy!

09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0

DB Custom
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I’d be in bad shape if I had a screw loose, but conversely if all 6 of my screws were loose I’d really be screwed!

(you know, the whole ti plate holding my neck together thing? 6 ti screws? just tried to take a bezel off a light, seems to be glued, strained, feels like I popped a rivet…funny how much of a wuss I am after surgery, in a not-funny kind of way)

Dale

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When i saw the daily joke thread up near the top of the list on the front page,i have to admit I had a little moment of pride . then I looked down and …

I spotted a thread clone.

καὶ τὸ φῶς ἐν τῇ σκοτίᾳ φαίνει καὶ ἡ σκοτία αὐτὸ οὐ κατέλαβεν

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“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.

-Plato

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- You dont love me anymore! You were always with fresh flowers the last year, every day, lately you bring me nothing!
- Come on honey, you know i love you but i changed my workplace, i dont work at the cemetery anymore

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a single wing never lets a bird fly

God is the light of the heavens and the earth. A metaphor for His light is a niche in which there is a lamp placed in a glass. The glass is like a shining star which is lit from a blessed olive tree that is neither eastern nor western. Its oil almost lights up even though it has not been touched by the fire. It is light upon light. God guides to His light whomever He wants. God uses various metaphors. He has the knowledge of all things. (35)

hIKARInoob
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hamedshh wrote:
a single wing never lets a bird fly

But a bird with a single wing on dope will always be high.

hamedshh
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hIKARInoob wrote:
hamedshh wrote:
a single wing never lets a bird fly

But a bird with a single wing on dope will always be high.

of course, if you could provide marijuana and know that how to force that bird in order to use it

God is the light of the heavens and the earth. A metaphor for His light is a niche in which there is a lamp placed in a glass. The glass is like a shining star which is lit from a blessed olive tree that is neither eastern nor western. Its oil almost lights up even though it has not been touched by the fire. It is light upon light. God guides to His light whomever He wants. God uses various metaphors. He has the knowledge of all things. (35)

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Why did the chicken cross the road ?

he knew that by doing so it would make others question his motives thereby increasing his noteriety thus making him famous .
or possibly he was just going to church .

– which may have started the whole Church’s famous fried chicken

maybe he just had a death wish

καὶ τὸ φῶς ἐν τῇ σκοτίᾳ φαίνει καὶ ἡ σκοτία αὐτὸ οὐ κατέλαβεν

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Boaz wrote:
Why did the chicken cross the road ?

… Becasue Racecar Big Smile

The Journal of Alternative Facts TM

"It is critical that there is a credible academic source for the growing and important discipline of alternative facts. This field of study will just keep winning, and we knew that all the best people would want to be on board. There is a real risk in the world today that people might be getting their information about science from actual scientists"

 

Bort
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The Journal of Alternative Facts TM

"It is critical that there is a credible academic source for the growing and important discipline of alternative facts. This field of study will just keep winning, and we knew that all the best people would want to be on board. There is a real risk in the world today that people might be getting their information about science from actual scientists"

 

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What did Jesus say immediately after exiting his tomb?

"April Fool's!"  :-)

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star_lore

 

That one is a variable star which pulses every 30 seconds. Its name comes from a Greek word meaning "smoke alarm." 

Henk4U2
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A very old man and a very young (beautiful) woman enter a hotel and ask for the honeymoon suite. The desk-clerk tells his collegue to be ready to call 911, but that night there are no emergencies.
Next morning the old man emerges with a smile on his face and informs the clerks that he is going for a refreshing walk. Around noon the girl stumbles from the elevator, looking as if she is run over by a train. The clerks ask her what has happened. She answers: “he told me he has saved for it during his whole life …. and I thought he was talking money”.

I always think long and hard before I say something really stupid.

raccoon city
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conversational_dynamics

 

"You should make it so people can search for and jump into hundreds of conversations at once if they want."

"Ooh, good idea! I imagine only the most well-informed people with the most critical information to share will use that feature."

raccoon city
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401k 

hamedshh
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hey you, my uncle, you vegetables seller
you actually sell the vegetables less
i want radish, i even want you just for a quarter of hour
……

God is the light of the heavens and the earth. A metaphor for His light is a niche in which there is a lamp placed in a glass. The glass is like a shining star which is lit from a blessed olive tree that is neither eastern nor western. Its oil almost lights up even though it has not been touched by the fire. It is light upon light. God guides to His light whomever He wants. God uses various metaphors. He has the knowledge of all things. (35)

chadvone
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97% of all statistics are made up on the spot

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What word in the dictionary is spelled incorrectly?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

“Incorrectly”.

“There is no darkness but ignorance.”

teacher
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Thumbs Up .. Big Smile . Big Smile . Big Smile . Big Smile

      You never know how a horse will pull until you hook him up to a heavy load. / Paul "Bear" Bryant ~/~\~ "Slow is Smooth, Smooth is Fast"

       Texas Lumens Flashlights  <>   M4D M4X Deals : sign up - save $$$$    ||||

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first_day 

hIKARInoob
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#policebrutality
#livingdeadlivesmatter

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A man thinks his wife and his best friend are cheating on him. To he goes to his frind to confront him. But the friend categorically denies, saying: “I’m not your best friend”.

I always think long and hard before I say something really stupid.

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Light Hacks

light_hacks

Life hack: Wait for an advanced civilization to be briefly distracted, then sneak in and construct a slightly smaller Dyson sphere inside theirs.

miumiu6
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A person who always disturbs you is the person who always loves you.

Common sense is a flower that doesn’t grow in everybody’s garden!

Don’t steal, don’t cheat, don’t lie. The government hates competition.

I have decided to keep my past behind, so if I owe you money.. Sorry, I have moved on.

I hate it when people ask me, ‘do you have a bathroom?’ No. we pee in the yard.

I am just a step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

I hate when I plan a conversation in my head and the other person doesn’t follow the damn script.

Follow your heart but take your brain with you.

We all deserve a little more laugh in our life. Why not try to read these funny quotes to let you laugh?
https://www.anquotes.com/funny-minion-quotes/

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/\ Those are good miumiu6, welcome to BLF. Thumbs Up

      You never know how a horse will pull until you hook him up to a heavy load. / Paul "Bear" Bryant ~/~\~ "Slow is Smooth, Smooth is Fast"

       Texas Lumens Flashlights  <>   M4D M4X Deals : sign up - save $$$$    ||||

         Rudeness Level /\ mΩ /\ {width:70%} /\ LightWiki /\ LED Tint Chart /\ LED Tint Picture /\ Xlamp size chart /\ BatteryU                   Flashaholic? Need Professional Help???   wink   /\ TheOriginal /\ TAB /\ LightSearch /\ BatterySearch /\ 14500's /\ DiCal                                                       

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Post #1500!

(at the moment)

 

"Repair or Replace"

repair_or_replace

"Just make sure all your friends and family are out of the car, or that you've made backup friends and family at home."

chadvone
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Post # 1501

Yeah baby

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