The Daily Joke Thread

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hIKARInoob
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Lightbringer wrote:
hIKARInoob wrote:
Well it looks like I’ve completely misunderstood a famous joke for many many years.

Question: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Answer: To get to the other side!

Haha, that is just sooo funny!
Yeah, I just realised it’s a suicide joke.

“With God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!”

Well… you have Turkey Airlines. Silly

chinooker
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‘pends on where you are, I guess.
butt, our local turkeys can outfly steelshot over 30 yards

(or that’s my excuse)

Lightbringer
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Okay, why’d I think that would land? (No pun intended.)

Looks like crappy “recorded it with a videocam offa my teevee” quality, but it’s all I could find offhand.

Figured at least BLFer herbtarlek would get it. Big Smile

Anyhoo, enjoy!

09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0

DB Custom
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I’d be in bad shape if I had a screw loose, but conversely if all 6 of my screws were loose I’d really be screwed!

(you know, the whole ti plate holding my neck together thing? 6 ti screws? just tried to take a bezel off a light, seems to be glued, strained, feels like I popped a rivet…funny how much of a wuss I am after surgery, in a not-funny kind of way)

Dale

Boaz
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When i saw the daily joke thread up near the top of the list on the front page,i have to admit I had a little moment of pride . then I looked down and …

I spotted a thread clone.

καὶ τὸ φῶς ἐν τῇ σκοτίᾳ φαίνει καὶ ἡ σκοτία αὐτὸ οὐ κατέλαβεν

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“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.

-Plato

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- You dont love me anymore! You were always with fresh flowers the last year, every day, lately you bring me nothing!
- Come on honey, you know i love you but i changed my workplace, i dont work at the cemetery anymore

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a single wing never lets a bird fly

God is the light of the heavens and the earth. A metaphor for His light is a niche in which there is a lamp placed in a glass. The glass is like a shining star which is lit from a blessed olive tree that is neither eastern nor western. Its oil almost lights up even though it has not been touched by the fire. It is light upon light. God guides to His light whomever He wants. God uses various metaphors. He has the knowledge of all things. (35)

hIKARInoob
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hamedshh wrote:
a single wing never lets a bird fly

But a bird with a single wing on dope will always be high.

hamedshh
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hIKARInoob wrote:
hamedshh wrote:
a single wing never lets a bird fly

But a bird with a single wing on dope will always be high.

of course, if you could provide marijuana and know that how to force that bird in order to use it

God is the light of the heavens and the earth. A metaphor for His light is a niche in which there is a lamp placed in a glass. The glass is like a shining star which is lit from a blessed olive tree that is neither eastern nor western. Its oil almost lights up even though it has not been touched by the fire. It is light upon light. God guides to His light whomever He wants. God uses various metaphors. He has the knowledge of all things. (35)

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Why did the chicken cross the road ?

he knew that by doing so it would make others question his motives thereby increasing his noteriety thus making him famous .
or possibly he was just going to church .

– which may have started the whole Church’s famous fried chicken

maybe he just had a death wish

καὶ τὸ φῶς ἐν τῇ σκοτίᾳ φαίνει καὶ ἡ σκοτία αὐτὸ οὐ κατέλαβεν

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Boaz wrote:
Why did the chicken cross the road ?

… Becasue Racecar Big Smile

The Journal of Alternative Facts TM

"It is critical that there is a credible academic source for the growing and important discipline of alternative facts. This field of study will just keep winning, and we knew that all the best people would want to be on board. There is a real risk in the world today that people might be getting their information about science from actual scientists"

 

Bort
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The Journal of Alternative Facts TM

"It is critical that there is a credible academic source for the growing and important discipline of alternative facts. This field of study will just keep winning, and we knew that all the best people would want to be on board. There is a real risk in the world today that people might be getting their information about science from actual scientists"

 

raccoon city
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What did Jesus say immediately after exiting his tomb?

"April Fool's!"  :-)

raccoon city
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star_lore

 

That one is a variable star which pulses every 30 seconds. Its name comes from a Greek word meaning "smoke alarm." 

Henk4U2
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A very old man and a very young (beautiful) woman enter a hotel and ask for the honeymoon suite. The desk-clerk tells his collegue to be ready to call 911, but that night there are no emergencies.
Next morning the old man emerges with a smile on his face and informs the clerks that he is going for a refreshing walk. Around noon the girl stumbles from the elevator, looking as if she is run over by a train. The clerks ask her what has happened. She answers: “he told me he has saved for it during his whole life …. and I thought he was talking money”.

I always think long and hard before I say something really stupid.

raccoon city
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conversational_dynamics

 

"You should make it so people can search for and jump into hundreds of conversations at once if they want."

"Ooh, good idea! I imagine only the most well-informed people with the most critical information to share will use that feature."

raccoon city
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401k 

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hey you, my uncle, you vegetables seller
you actually sell the vegetables less
i want radish, i even want you just for a quarter of hour
……

God is the light of the heavens and the earth. A metaphor for His light is a niche in which there is a lamp placed in a glass. The glass is like a shining star which is lit from a blessed olive tree that is neither eastern nor western. Its oil almost lights up even though it has not been touched by the fire. It is light upon light. God guides to His light whomever He wants. God uses various metaphors. He has the knowledge of all things. (35)

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97% of all statistics are made up on the spot

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What word in the dictionary is spelled incorrectly?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

“Incorrectly”.

“There is no darkness but ignorance.”

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Thumbs Up .. Big Smile . Big Smile . Big Smile . Big Smile

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raccoon city
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first_day 

hIKARInoob
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#policebrutality
#livingdeadlivesmatter

Henk4U2
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A man thinks his wife and his best friend are cheating on him. To he goes to his frind to confront him. But the friend categorically denies, saying: “I’m not your best friend”.

I always think long and hard before I say something really stupid.

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