The Daily Joke Thread

- You dont love me anymore! You were always with fresh flowers the last year, every day, lately you bring me nothing!

  • Come on honey, you know i love you but i changed my workplace, i dont work at the cemetery anymore

a single wing never lets a bird fly

But a bird with a single wing on dope will always be high.

of course, if you could provide marijuana and know that how to force that bird in order to use it

Why did the chicken cross the road ?

he knew that by doing so it would make others question his motives thereby increasing his noteriety thus making him famous .
or possibly he was just going to church .

- which may have started the whole Church’s famous fried chicken

maybe he just had a death wish

… Becasue Racecar :smiley:

What did Jesus say immediately after exiting his tomb?

"April Fool's!"

That one is a variable star which pulses every 30 seconds. Its name comes from a Greek word meaning "smoke alarm."

A very old man and a very young (beautiful) woman enter a hotel and ask for the honeymoon suite. The desk-clerk tells his collegue to be ready to call 911, but that night there are no emergencies.
Next morning the old man emerges with a smile on his face and informs the clerks that he is going for a refreshing walk. Around noon the girl stumbles from the elevator, looking as if she is run over by a train. The clerks ask her what has happened. She answers: “he told me he has saved for it during his whole life …. and I thought he was talking money”.

"You should make it so people can search for and jump into hundreds of conversations at once if they want."

"Ooh, good idea! I imagine only the most well-informed people with the most critical information to share will use that feature."

hey you, my uncle, you vegetables seller
you actually sell the vegetables less
i want radish, i even want you just for a quarter of hour
……

97% of all statistics are made up on the spot

What word in the dictionary is spelled incorrectly?
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“Incorrectly”.

:+1: … :smiley: . :smiley: . :smiley: . :smiley:

#policebrutality
#livingdeadlivesmatter

A man thinks his wife and his best friend are cheating on him. To he goes to his frind to confront him. But the friend categorically denies, saying: “I’m not your best friend”.

Light Hacks

Life hack: Wait for an advanced civilization to be briefly distracted, then sneak in and construct a slightly smaller Dyson sphere inside theirs.