a single wing never lets a bird fly
But a bird with a single wing on dope will always be high.
of course, if you could provide marijuana and know that how to force that bird in order to use it
Why did the chicken cross the road ?
he knew that by doing so it would make others question his motives thereby increasing his noteriety thus making him famous .
or possibly he was just going to church .
- which may have started the whole Church’s famous fried chicken
maybe he just had a death wish
… Becasue Racecar 
What did Jesus say immediately after exiting his tomb?
"April Fool's!" 
That one is a variable star which pulses every 30 seconds. Its name comes from a Greek word meaning "smoke alarm."
A very old man and a very young (beautiful) woman enter a hotel and ask for the honeymoon suite. The desk-clerk tells his collegue to be ready to call 911, but that night there are no emergencies.
Next morning the old man emerges with a smile on his face and informs the clerks that he is going for a refreshing walk. Around noon the girl stumbles from the elevator, looking as if she is run over by a train. The clerks ask her what has happened. She answers: “he told me he has saved for it during his whole life …. and I thought he was talking money”.
"You should make it so people can search for and jump into hundreds of conversations at once if they want."
"Ooh, good idea! I imagine only the most well-informed people with the most critical information to share will use that feature."
hey you, my uncle, you vegetables seller
you actually sell the vegetables less
i want radish, i even want you just for a quarter of hour
……
97% of all statistics are made up on the spot
What word in the dictionary is spelled incorrectly?
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“Incorrectly”.
:+1: … . . .
#policebrutality
#livingdeadlivesmatter
A man thinks his wife and his best friend are cheating on him. To he goes to his frind to confront him. But the friend categorically denies, saying: “I’m not your best friend”.
Light Hacks
Life hack: Wait for an advanced civilization to be briefly distracted, then sneak in and construct a slightly smaller Dyson sphere inside theirs.
A person who always disturbs you is the person who always loves you.
Common sense is a flower that doesn’t grow in everybody’s garden!
Don’t steal, don’t cheat, don’t lie. The government hates competition.
I have decided to keep my past behind, so if I owe you money… Sorry, I have moved on.
I hate it when people ask me, ‘do you have a bathroom?’ No. we pee in the yard.
I am just a step away from being rich, all I need now is money.
I hate when I plan a conversation in my head and the other person doesn’t follow the damn script.
Follow your heart but take your brain with you.
We all deserve a little more laugh in our life. Why not try to read these funny quotes to let you laugh?
https://www.anquotes.com/funny-minion-quotes/