The Daily Joke Thread

A very old man and a very young (beautiful) woman enter a hotel and ask for the honeymoon suite. The desk-clerk tells his collegue to be ready to call 911, but that night there are no emergencies.
Next morning the old man emerges with a smile on his face and informs the clerks that he is going for a refreshing walk. Around noon the girl stumbles from the elevator, looking as if she is run over by a train. The clerks ask her what has happened. She answers: “he told me he has saved for it during his whole life …. and I thought he was talking money”.

"You should make it so people can search for and jump into hundreds of conversations at once if they want."

"Ooh, good idea! I imagine only the most well-informed people with the most critical information to share will use that feature."

hey you, my uncle, you vegetables seller
you actually sell the vegetables less
i want radish, i even want you just for a quarter of hour
……

97% of all statistics are made up on the spot

What word in the dictionary is spelled incorrectly?
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“Incorrectly”.

:+1: … :smiley: . :smiley: . :smiley: . :smiley:

#policebrutality
#livingdeadlivesmatter

A man thinks his wife and his best friend are cheating on him. To he goes to his frind to confront him. But the friend categorically denies, saying: “I’m not your best friend”.

Light Hacks

Life hack: Wait for an advanced civilization to be briefly distracted, then sneak in and construct a slightly smaller Dyson sphere inside theirs.

A person who always disturbs you is the person who always loves you.

Common sense is a flower that doesn’t grow in everybody’s garden!

Don’t steal, don’t cheat, don’t lie. The government hates competition.

I have decided to keep my past behind, so if I owe you money… Sorry, I have moved on.

I hate it when people ask me, ‘do you have a bathroom?’ No. we pee in the yard.

I am just a step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

I hate when I plan a conversation in my head and the other person doesn’t follow the damn script.

Follow your heart but take your brain with you.

We all deserve a little more laugh in our life. Why not try to read these funny quotes to let you laugh?
https://www.anquotes.com/funny-minion-quotes/

/\ Those are good miumiu6, welcome to BLF. :+1:

Post #1500!

(at the moment)

"Repair or Replace"

"Just make sure all your friends and family are out of the car, or that you've made backup friends and family at home."

Post # 1501

Yeah baby

Bad Opinions

"I thought of another bad opinion! I couldn't find anyone who expressed it specifically, but still, the fact that I can so easily imagine it is infuriating! I'm gonna tell everyone about it!"

I went to a dermatologist because my finger prints were missing. He said I should of went to a optometrists.

Tectonics Game

"They're limiting the playtesters to type A3 V stars, so the games will all end before the Sun consumes the Earth."