#policebrutality
#livingdeadlivesmatter
A man thinks his wife and his best friend are cheating on him. To he goes to his frind to confront him. But the friend categorically denies, saying: “I’m not your best friend”.
Light Hacks
Life hack: Wait for an advanced civilization to be briefly distracted, then sneak in and construct a slightly smaller Dyson sphere inside theirs.
A person who always disturbs you is the person who always loves you.
Common sense is a flower that doesn’t grow in everybody’s garden!
Don’t steal, don’t cheat, don’t lie. The government hates competition.
I have decided to keep my past behind, so if I owe you money… Sorry, I have moved on.
I hate it when people ask me, ‘do you have a bathroom?’ No. we pee in the yard.
I am just a step away from being rich, all I need now is money.
I hate when I plan a conversation in my head and the other person doesn’t follow the damn script.
Follow your heart but take your brain with you.
We all deserve a little more laugh in our life. Why not try to read these funny quotes to let you laugh?
https://www.anquotes.com/funny-minion-quotes/
/\ Those are good miumiu6, welcome to BLF. :+1:
Post #1500!
(at the moment)
"Repair or Replace"
"Just make sure all your friends and family are out of the car, or that you've made backup friends and family at home."
Post # 1501
Yeah baby
Bad Opinions
"I thought of another bad opinion! I couldn't find anyone who expressed it specifically, but still, the fact that I can so easily imagine it is infuriating! I'm gonna tell everyone about it!"
I went to a dermatologist because my finger prints were missing. He said I should of went to a optometrists.
Tectonics Game
"They're limiting the playtesters to type A3 V stars, so the games will all end before the Sun consumes the Earth."
Kilogram
"I'm glad to hear they're finally redefining the meter to be exactly three feet."
Update Your Address
"This is my four-digit PIN. It was passed down to me by my father, and someday I will pass it on to you. Unless we figure out how to update it, but that sounds complicated."
One late evening a young man and a big girl leave a bar at closing time. The girl invites the man to a night cap. The man agrees. After downing some coffee, destilled and clothes its time for action. Both are a bit reluctant. You have brought a tiny trumpet, says the girl. True, says the man, but no one has told me I had to play Carnegie Hall.
:person_facepalming:
Two men camping in the mountains….
had spent four days together, and they were getting a little testy. One morning, the first friend says, “You know, we’re starting to get on each other’s nerves. Why don’t we split up today.
I’ll hike north and spend the day looking around, you hike south and spend the day. Then tonight, we’ll have dinner and share our experiences over the campfire.”
The second friend agrees and hikes south. The first man hikes north.
That night over dinner, the first man tells his story.
“Today I hiked into a beautiful valley. I followed a stream up into a canyon and ate lunch. Then I swam in a crystal clear mountain lake. As I sat out and dried, I watched deer come and drink from the stream. The wildflowers were filled with butterflies and hawks floated all day overhead. How was your day?”
The second friend says, “I went south and ran across a set of railroad tracks. I followed them until I came across a young woman tied to the tracks. I cut the ropes off, gently lifted her off the tracks and I had sex with her in every imaginable way all afternoon. Finally, when I was so tired I could barely move, I came back to camp.”
“Wow!!” the first guy exclaimed, “Your day was MUCH better than mine. Did you get a BJ, too?!?”
“Nah,” says the second friend over his meal, “I couldn’t find her head.”
A man got hit hard in the head with a can of 7 Up. He’s alright though, it was a soft drink.
