“Blue Monkey” tonight. Had the makings of a teevee movie except for mild language. Good mindless fun.
Basically, an old dewd sticks himself on an exotic plant, gets gangrene fast, and dies, but not before puking up what looks like a long white turd (or a nasty-looking weißwurst), actually a bug larva. So in the hospital they bottle the critter, and while two lovebirds go out for nookie after being told to watch the beastie, four of the most irritating kids monkey around and feed the beastie massive doses of growth hormone. Hilarity ensues. Bloodshed, too.
Basically, it’s a praying-mantis hermapolite xenomorph that poops out the female that’s going to lay thousands of eggs in one shot. So after the hospital is in quarantine and gonna get all blowed up by army dewds if it’s not brought under control in 2hrs, the cop, nurse, and bug-guy all go on the hunt for them, lure away the mama-papa xenomorph, and then roast the little beasties.
Well, you know it’ll end up okay in the end, but it’s a fun romp. Just like any teevee movie with killer piranhas or killer snakes or killer any-other-beasties, it’s mindless, it’s predictable, and it’s fun. And even if you love kids, you’ll so want to smack the living crap out of the four little chimps imps, especially their “leader”.
The title of the movie I watched was “Insect!”, which makes hella more sense, but the “official” name is now “Blue Monkey”. Not much is actually blue in the movie, nor are there any monkeys. Kinda retarded, just like the classic “I Come In Peace” being renamed “Dark Angel” (wtf?!?), or very recently, “The Ascent” being renamed “Stairs”.
Okay, no more cocaine for those Hollyweird types… it addles their brains.