Your neighbors are annoyed by you.
Neighborhood security knows you very well.
When certain lights are clicked on, you swear theatrically or laugh like a lunatic.
When certain lights are clicked off, the words “copper” and “driver” mysteriously come into your head.
Your palms are as use to scorching heat as a blacksmith’s.
Your street lights are your sworn enemies.
You laugh at the sight of a light that says “Police” and is black with the word “tactical” anywhere on it.
You notice how large, dome-shaped objects make you salivate.
The word “bin” doesn’t refer to a place to toss used towels.
You believe the dark really may have monsters (so why not be prepared and check to see what’s there?)
You forbid your family from coming near the charging station.
You believe that “lithium batteries” and “most people” don’t belong in the same sentence together.
The sight of a flashlight with advertised lumens in the double-digits makes you chuckle.
The sight of a flashlight with advertised lumens in the triple-digits make you skeptical.
You get the sweats when the delivery guy shows up.
You get the sweats when nightfall arrives.
You imagine one of your flashlight beams saying back to you: “Oh, so now I’m not good enough for you anymore? I’m not the right COLOR!”
Your spouse is excited to see you and says: “What’s that hot stuff in your pants!” and you reply: “Oh, my light accidently clicked on. Thanks for the heads-up!”
…
Well, that’s all I could think of.