LOL! Great first post. Welcome.
Nice joke, Ecosys. Much to my surprise, even my mom liked that one!
By the way, welcome to BLF. I hope you enjoy your stay.
Aloha and welcome to BLF Ecosys!
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories:
"Johnny do you have a story to share?" "Yes ma'am. My daddy told a story about my Aunt Nancy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife.
She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then her parachute landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops. She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."
"Good Heavens" said the horrified teacher. "What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from this horrible story?
"Stay the F#$% away from Aunt Nancy when she's drinking."
1 Thank
Good one
I have two daughters, a wife, and a female dog....can't remember when I last won an argument or had a nap on a weekend afternoon.
that sounds like jeff dunham:)
My heart goes out to you, I have two sons, a wife and a bunch of animals...and can't remember when I last won an argument or had a nap on a weekend afternoon.
It's the tragedy of the Male Condition...we must "Endeavor to persevere." 
The police came to my front door last night holding a picture of my
wife.
They said, "Is this your wife, sir?"
Shocked, I answered, "Yes."
They said, "I'm afraid it looks like she's been hit by a bus."
I said, "I know, but she has a lovely personality."
I wonder how long Conrad Murray will get? I want to hire him to look after my ex-wife.
How can you tell if a birthday cake is for a boy or a girl?
The boy's cake has NUTS!
Party on Friday Night
I am havíng a party thís Fríday for people who have díffículty achíevíng orgasms.
Let me know íf you can't come.
LOL !!! Great first post. Welcome to BLF.
If your an American in the kitchen & an American in bedroom,
What are your in the bathroom?
Euro-pee-an!
Actually it's written European...
My wife threatened to leave me yesterday just because I didn't open the car/automobile door for her.
I told her, "I just panicked and swam to the surface."
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the official language of the European Union rather
than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the
negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling
had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan
that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".. Sertainly, this
will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be
dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and
keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f".. This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the
horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it
should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl
riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find
it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum
tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in
ze forst plas.
This is mythical and deep. Truly beautiful... Five Horses Is Her Name. |