What are the top 10 signs .."You might be a Flashaholic"?

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Boaz
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What are the top 10 signs .."You might be a Flashaholic"?

1. You get excited when it gets dark .

2.While having sex you utter the name of a high end flashlight instead of your mates .

3.your keychain light has 2 18650's .

4.The dog thinks the mailman is "our friend" instead of foe.

5.You actually try to defnd yourself with a assult bezel. (Law  Emforcement ) > Reaching for your flashlight instead of your Glock ...>>isn't wise.

6. Your kids know the names of custom lights   ( really bad cases of flashaholism  >> you made flashcards ) 

7. Your Mom finds dirty flashlight magazines under your mattress .

8.You know all the Bible quotes that have the word light in them .  http://bible.cc/search.php?q=light

9.Your favorite song is "Flashlight " by Parliament ...   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3flYZ6LOsw

10. Even after purchasing a 150$ light ... you're still thinking about your next .. fix

 

I'm sure I've merely scratched the surface of this complex and twisted addiction .

Feel free to add your top ten ...

καὶ τὸ φῶς ἐν τῇ σκοτίᾳ φαίνει καὶ ἡ σκοτία αὐτὸ οὐ κατέλαβεν

Don
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When you know what an 18650 is...

When you have a pet name for your soldering iron...

When you hang lights off your dog...

 

The numbers from my light tests are always to be found here.

https://spreadsheets.google.com/ccc?key=0ApkFM37n_QnRdDU5MDNzOURjYllmZHI...

old4570
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1/ You know the different CR123A's , 16340 , 17355 , 18350 

2/ You bought plastic calipers to measure battery dimensions 

3/ You own more than 10 lights of the same type [ P60 host ] 

4/ You have a favorite battery size-type 

5/ You own more than 3 battery chargers

6/ You cant go for more than 24hours  without window shopping for a new light 

7/ You start writing reviews to justify buying new lights '

8/ DIY mods are just a matter of course 

9/ You spend more money on flashlights than alcohol or cigarettes or other hobbies 

10/ Flashaholic is a term of endearment .  

 Always remember , the easiest thing in the world to do , is to expel hot air from your lungs and through some vocal chords ..
The resulting sound may , or may not be worth listening too ….

 

Vectrex
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When your are thinking about how hard it would be to fit a superconductive plasma fusion reactor in a 18650 shell, to have a portable device that lets you decide if it is full moon or not. Wink

Don
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When you bought a new camera to do shots of parts of lights (I did)...

When you bulk-buy rechargeable batteries...

When you know what an "Eneloop" is...

and why you want them...

When you can name a dozen Chinese flashlight manufacturers...

When you think about going to Hong Kong for bargain lights...

When you try to learn Chinese to buy direct from the factory...

 

The numbers from my light tests are always to be found here.

https://spreadsheets.google.com/ccc?key=0ApkFM37n_QnRdDU5MDNzOURjYllmZHI...

Boaz
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- You know how much all your lights weigh .

- you look for reasons to go into the attic or basement .

- the Vet says your dog has night blindness .

- Your neighbor thinks you're running an after hours disco. 

- Your relatives know what you're getting them for christmas.

-When you get pulled over by a cop ..You notice his light.... you end up showing him your lights . ( he still gives you a ticket )(later you see him on CPF/BLF)

-Your dream vacation is to the Cree factory   or   the Shot show in Los Vegas

 - you  get on dating sites  and offer  to marry a chinese girl in hopes she'll get you a better deal on Nitecore stuff

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

καὶ τὸ φῶς ἐν τῇ σκοτίᾳ φαίνει καὶ ἡ σκοτία αὐτὸ οὐ κατέλαβεν

mizjif
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lmao! this thread is hilarious. And disturbingly enough, many of these apply to me :S 

 

Funny enough, whenever I see a police officer or paramedic now my eyes automatically glance at their hip-holster to see what light they are using Silly

Match
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Boaz, you always seem to start the most amusing threads...I like itTongue out.  Great lists so far.  Here's my two pence:

 

10.) Your laptop is now a desktop because you scavaged the Li-ion batteries out of it.

9.) Apollo asks you to fill in when he needs a day off

8.) You modded your garage door opener with a reverse clicky

7.) Full moons piss you off

6.) Your keychain light could be used to warn ships of impending doom

5.) You know the relative lumens of your TV

4.) The remote control is now a P60 host

3.) You have enough spare batteries to jumpstart a large SUV

2.) Your mailman is now fluent in chinese

1.) Firing up your edc torch requires suntan lotion and a welding mask



sb56637
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old4570 wrote:

7/ You start writing reviews to justify buying new lights '

Big Smile  You touched a nerve with this one!

Budget Light Forum ...where Frugal meets with Flashlight!

brted
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I think when you start buying equipment to evaluate flashlights, you've gone off the deep end. Light meters, scales, calipers, DMM's with computer hookups. I haven't bought a scale, but I was really tempted. Just so I could weigh flashlights! As if that even really matters. I did buy calipers (they don't have to be plastic if you put tape over one end of the flashlight, though I will admit I didn't think to do this the first time I measured the length of the battery and noticed the calipers getting warm (!!!))

When someone asks you to recommend a flashlight and instead of giving them an answer you start asking them all kinds of questions about preferences that they don't even know about.

When you have a dozen flashlights and you can't think of any you don't need. Or to be more succinct: when you have a dozen flashlights.

When you take pictures of flashlight beams.

 

Really can relate to my postman having learned Chinese. They've really got to wonder about me. Not that they ever ask, but I can see them asking me what's in the package. "A flashlight." "Didn't you get one of those last week . . . and the week before that . . . and the week before that?"

pounder
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the only one I have to add..

when your kids see you got another flashlight and they say "another one daddy..how many lights do you have???" (haha my 5 and 7 yr old always say that)

to which I reply "not enough"

didge
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Boaz wrote:

2.While having sex you utter the name of a high end flashlight instead of your mates .

If I uttered my mates names while having sex, I think there would be serious questions asked... Laughing

(ok, slight definition difference, owing to geographical location Wink )

Cheers

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Kinda off-topic, but I am curious: What do Australians call their significant others?

didge
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raccoon city wrote:

Kinda off-topic, but I am curious: What do Australians call their significant others?

When I read this, I guessed you might be from California*  Smile  (sorry about that..)

In my case, I call her my wife.  Some more politically correct people (and unfortunately they seem to be increasing in numbers) might say "partner" whether or not they're married, but that would be very much the exception.

Normally, if somebody uses the "P" word, it means that they're co-habiting, but are not married.

Of course, Australia is quite a large and diverse country, so this will not apply for everybody!

Cheers

* One of my mates at work is from LA, we often joke about "PC Speak"

Budgeteer
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Very funny and also very disturbing as i can identify myself in some definitions. XD

"The remote control is now a P60 host"

Thanks for the great laugh. Smile That was the bullseye in my seratonine dosage system that started dispensing hard. Might not be fun to all but for me was just perfect.

 

I might add some new:

- Justifiying purchase of unneeded equipment just to test battery capacity and level of degratation with time along with graphs for each owned cell

- Trying to purchase a IR non contact thermometer to assess whole flashlight body temperature and to test which design has greater heatsinging capabilities

- Wrapping 18650 cells with insulating tape to make them not rattle and while at it doing a very nice aesthetic job even knowing the battery would hardly ever be visible but just in case if someone comes by when you have one "exposed" in a charger...

- Having not often used flashlights in a drawer carefully stored in separate bubblewrap bags

- buying outrageous amounts of battery plastic cases

- Carrying more than 1 flashlight on a daily basis

- Carrying one (at least single 18650 flashlight) at some friend wedding (keychain lights doesen't count).

- Taking time and carefully polish SS flashlights on a monthy basis untill mirror finish while wearing cotton gloves to not fingerprint it.

- You often look at your flashlights and wonder if the emitters are cenetered perfectly along with futile attempts to try to measure with a ruler or similar tool

- You carry 2 spare batteries for your lux meter and contemplate new imporved versions on how to build a perfect ligtbox (integrating sphere)

- Start thinking if a multilight holster isn't a bad idea. http://www.manafont.com/product_info.php/multipurpose-military-nylon-oxf...

- Your survivalist needs get you in danger of becoming a knifeaholic and checking which flashlight holster could also accomodate a kinfe without scratching your HA coated flaslighlight. (there is also a risk of trying to match the knife based on the flashlight aesthetics)

- You already know the lumen output needed and color temperature along with tint for every mundane and exotic flashlight task.

- If your led emitter of choice isn't driven up to max specs allowed you immediately realize that the driver must be junk and you start heating your soldering iron before going to find where you have left the "spare" drivers you ordered at DX or KD months ago...

- You buy this: http://www.dealextreme.com/details.dx/sku.27551 to carry a spare 18650 cell with you in true mil-spec fashion.

- Have spare coated and non coated flashlight lenses for p60 hosts or others.

- If you have a bike you also have a bunch of flashlight mounts for various tasks. Also at least once in a while you feel the need to make your own 18650 based tail light with hi-med-lo just in case you encounter fog.

- You must at least own 1 zoomable light and often look at it how badly designed it is along with futile attempts to expose the few strong points in an attempt to justify the purchase.

- You have at least one of each Q3, Q5, R2, R5, MCE, XM-L, and SST or similar flashlights.

- Once in a while you find yourself in a bathroom in total dark assessing relative output of your flashlights while being carefull to not be caught by your wife (or girlfriend) doing it.

- On a foggy day take a walk around your house with various flashlights and look at the beam in fog.

- You have already 10 or more excuses ready to explain the carrying a flashlight with you when someone asks: Wow nice that you have a light with you... but how come you carry one?

- In pure daylight when youre waiting a bus or friends to pick you up you start cleaning the lens of your flashlight just to pass the time. Having a special lens cleaning cloth along it just amplifiy your addiction.

- When you see a great deal on a flashlight you never really wanted you feel the urge to buy it justifying it as a true bargain.

- You have at least 2 headlamps even if you not need a single one.

- When a tailcap squeeeks it is a sign that the flashlight must be cleaned and lubed asap. In serious flashlight addicted individuals some remorse might kick in as how did you even dare let it happen! If this happen in public you feel ashamed.

- You know your lights blindfolded just by hearing the clicky switch sound.


kragmutt wrote:

They're gonna send you a green redcat with a black LED.

fishinfool
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You know you're a flashaholic when you dream about being surrounded by flashlights instead of being surrounded by beautiful women. Undecided

Don wrote:

"But as I said long ago, you are more likely to be killed by a dead fish dropped by a seagull in the Sahara Desert than by a lithium ion

Budgeteer
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It might be somehow correct if the beautiful women youre draming about carry holsters just in case you might need to check something. Big Smile

kragmutt wrote:

They're gonna send you a green redcat with a black LED.

fishinfool
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The ultimate flashaholic dream for me would be ME surrounded by a bunch of the most beautiful women in the world and all of them had flashlights. Cool

Don wrote:

"But as I said long ago, you are more likely to be killed by a dead fish dropped by a seagull in the Sahara Desert than by a lithium ion

Don
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Isn't that a "fleshaholic" rather than a "flashaholic"? Wink

 

The numbers from my light tests are always to be found here.

https://spreadsheets.google.com/ccc?key=0ApkFM37n_QnRdDU5MDNzOURjYllmZHI...

fishinfool
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Don wrote:

Isn't that a "fleshaholic" rather than a "flashaholic"? Wink

Good one Don.   Laughing

Don wrote:

"But as I said long ago, you are more likely to be killed by a dead fish dropped by a seagull in the Sahara Desert than by a lithium ion

skulless
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When you can't stop reading all the threads here even when you're suppose to be working.

When you keep asking questions about them.

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Does buying your first two (hopefully) decent flashlights days apart and then before they've even been shipped ordering a bunch of batteries, a wf-188, and a little prolux 3834 before batteries have been shipped count ?

Hmm, may need some more batteries, and I'll have to get a power supply and rig a cell holder from plastic conduit for the prolux... 

fishinfool
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danceswithferrets wrote:

Does buying your first two (hopefully) decent flashlights days apart and then before they've even been shipped ordering a bunch of batteries, a wf-188, and a little prolux 3834 before batteries have been shipped count ?

Hmm, may need some more batteries, and I'll have to get a power supply and rig a cell holder from plastic conduit for the prolux... 

Those are classic signs of a full blown FLASHAHOLIC. Shocked

Don wrote:

"But as I said long ago, you are more likely to be killed by a dead fish dropped by a seagull in the Sahara Desert than by a lithium ion

IamMatt
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I think I qualify.  I just bought a couple of 18650s.  I don't have any lights that take 18650s.  But now I have a justification for buying a new light in that format.  And a charger.

Why do I carry a flashlight?  Because half of every day is dark.

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IamMatt wrote:

I think I qualify.  I just bought a couple of 18650s.  I don't have any lights that take 18650s.  But now I have a justification for buying a new light in that format.  And a charger.

 

Indeed, now you *have* to! Otherwise it would be as bad as not buying those thing you didn't want in the supermarket even though they were buy-one-get-one-free! Silly

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fishinfool wrote:

The ultimate flashaholic dream for me would be ME surrounded by a bunch of the most beautiful women in the world and all of them had flashlights. Cool

Rule 34 Big Smile

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IamMatt wrote:

I think I qualify.  I just bought a couple of 18650s.  I don't have any lights that take 18650s.  But now I have a justification for buying a new light in that format.  And a charger.

I would suggest, you buy also a new shelf. You will need one soon....

...and probably a bigger appartement by the end of this year.

Maybe you didn't know it. There are many more nice 18650 flashlights, than you may think now.

Concusion: Order some more 18650s too!

danceswithferrets
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Maplins have a great switch mode bench top power supply - 0-20v 0-5A, overkill for a hobby charger so to justify the expense I'll have to buy some emitters and start turning heatsinks. I'm sure it'll have other great uses too ...

Boaz
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You might be a flashaholic ….if a crescent moon or bright stars make you mad …. because it isn’t dark enough to show off your newest flashlight .

If your friends are discussing race …and you begin to refer to people as …Warm, neutral and cool. As a policeman ..if you’re chasing down a killer who thinks breaking all the light bulbs in the building gives him an advantage ….. you just smile.. ..If you know exactly how many lumens 87 candles on grandmas birthday cake is putting out. If the PWM on your electric razors charging light bothers you …you might just be a flashaholic

καὶ τὸ φῶς ἐν τῇ σκοτίᾳ φαίνει καὶ ἡ σκοτία αὐτὸ οὐ κατέλαβεν

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Does the fact that I’m annoyed by PWM in cars DRL in my mirrors qualify me as a flashaolic ?

Slowly sinking into the dark abyss of addiction...MUST buy lights !

My Flashlight public album (mods, emitter swaps, eye candy)

My reviews channel (French language, Olight, Thorfire : 30+ lights tested)

My personal channel (including Olight SR mini, S1, S2, S1A and S-mini disassembly)

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RollerBoySE
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This thread is absolutely hilarious, thanks for resurrecting it.

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