The Daily Joke Thread

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raccoon city
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hIKARInoob wrote:

They just killed someone in a children's cartoon? Really?

It's okay; He's a bad guy!

And, spoiler alert, his best friend is a little fruity in the live-action remake.  :P

DavidEF
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raccoon city wrote:

hIKARInoob wrote:

They just killed someone in a children’s cartoon? Really?


It’s okay; He’s a bad guy!


And, spoiler alert, his best friend is a little fruity in the live-action remake.  :P


I heard he likes nuts… Oops

Reason is not automatic. Those who deny it cannot be conquered by it. Do not count on them. Leave them alone.
-Ayn Rand

firedome
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“How many satanists does it take to change a light bulb ?

None. Let darkness reign !” Evil

“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.

-Plato

MontyPyfon
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If you want to find a use for something, first throw it away.

To many flashlights, too many batteries. Wife is going to kill me Smile
Q8 (Still coming) S2+: 10, SRK style: 7, C8: 10, L2: 3,  L6: 2, Couri XM-L2: 1 LuckySun BLF SE: 3, EagleEye X6: 2   and lots more....

Monty

DavidEF
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MontyPyfon wrote:
If you want to find a use for something, first throw it away.

Yeah… I know! Facepalm

Reason is not automatic. Those who deny it cannot be conquered by it. Do not count on them. Leave them alone.
-Ayn Rand

raccoon city
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tp

:-) 

hIKARInoob
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OMG, that’s so funny, haha! Big SmileBeer

(really glad to see your signature again Party )

raccoon city
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hIKARInoob wrote:

OMG, that’s so funny, haha! Big SmileBeer

(really glad to see your signature again Party )

We aim to please!  :THUMBS-UP:

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What do you call it when everyone at work is sick?

…Staff infection.

Slow is smooth, smooth is fast.

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A guy sees his doctor…

“Doc, you gotta help me. I got these songs running over and over through my head. Over and over, to the point where I can’t even think straight. I even end up humming them to myself. I can’t sleep! It’s exasperating!”

“Interesting… what songs are they?”

“A bunch… DelilahWhat’s New PussycatThunderball…”

“Ah! You must have Tom Jones Syndrome!”

“Never heard of that. Is it rare?”

“It’s Not Unusual…”

09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0

MontyPyfon
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Wife asks programmer husband to go to store and buy a loaf of bread.
Then she adds, “If they have eggs, get a dozen”.
Husband comes home with 12 loaves.

Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon?
Great food, but no atmosphere.

To many flashlights, too many batteries. Wife is going to kill me Smile
Q8 (Still coming) S2+: 10, SRK style: 7, C8: 10, L2: 3,  L6: 2, Couri XM-L2: 1 LuckySun BLF SE: 3, EagleEye X6: 2   and lots more....

Monty

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God almost reaches the bottom of the bag of things to give to Adam and Eve.
He pulls out a piece of paper, “peeing standing up”
Adam: “oh God, give that to me, really I should have this”
Eve shrugs: “if it is so important to him, give it to him”
“And so it shall be from this moment onwards” proclaims God
And he reaches in the bag.
“Last one left, since Adam got peeing standing up, this one is for Eve”
He pulls it out and reads “being able to have multiple orgasms”

MontyPyfon
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The Miller wrote:
“.. He pulls it out and reads “being able to have multiple orgasms”

Yeah, totally not fair. LOL

To many flashlights, too many batteries. Wife is going to kill me Smile
Q8 (Still coming) S2+: 10, SRK style: 7, C8: 10, L2: 3,  L6: 2, Couri XM-L2: 1 LuckySun BLF SE: 3, EagleEye X6: 2   and lots more....

Monty

raccoon city
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xkcd_phone_6 

Agro
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Found on GearBest.
See the blue box.

The Miller
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lol, needs resize for all mobile users to see it too:

hIKARInoob
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Dear Gearbest. I recently purchased a Haikelite MT01 MT-G2. It’s broken. Light flickers on turbo mode. I’ve included a video. Please scroll down to “Six Brightness Levels” for demonstration.

https://www.gearbest.com/led-flashlights/pp_900422.html

raccoon city
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Yup, it's busted!

Lightbringer
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raccoon city wrote:
Yup, it’s busted!

Maybe it’s so bright that the voltage sagged and its low-voltage blink kicked in. Big Smile

09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0

Bort
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Agro wrote:
Found on GearBest.
See the blue box.
!https://des.gbtcdn.com/uploads/pdm-desc-pic/Electronic/image/2017/03/09/...!

If this were combined with a Uranusfire it would become a potent long range weapon…

The Journal of Alternative Facts TM

"It is critical that there is a credible academic source for the growing and important discipline of alternative facts. This field of study will just keep winning, and we knew that all the best people would want to be on board. There is a real risk in the world today that people might be getting their information about science from actual scientists"

 

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