I think I can imagine the conversation behind this description...
- Who buys flashlights?
- Men
- What other things do men like?
- Beer!
- So, let's link their beer enjoyment with our products!
- OK, how's this: "Close your eyes... imagine, it is dark and you are at the beach... weather is hot and all you need now is a beer... now, open your eyes... what do you see? nothing? Of course! You don't have "H3 Focus-Adjustable and Dimming Cree Q5 White LED Headlamp Set (3xAAA) (tm)"! How do you expect to find your beer dude?
- Oh, not bad, work it out a little, I have a good feeling about this! We are going to sell millions of these!
- I also have an idea about our next campaign boss... B00bs! Men also like b00bs! And when it comes to b00bs, it is always better to have both hands available! Oh, man, we are going to be soooo rich!!!
I know it sounds funny but the only once I went to a tent camping and everybody opened their beers and wines just a second after they set up their tents. I were shocked that I were a complete ignorant in this culture :)
- I also have an idea about our next campaign boss... B00bs! Men also like b00bs! And when it comes to b00bs, it is always better to have both hands available! Oh, man, we are going to be soooo rich!!!
That description needs to be used to market headlamps everywhere. Truer words were never spoken! This would be perfect for Cabella's or Gander Mountain.
Actually I think they are trying hard to come up with descriptions. Of course they are failing, but they are trying. I don't know why they just don't let me write their copy for them. I would do it cheap! Hell just send me some flashlights (one of each) and I will write all your english copy for you. The sales will go sky high!
I will even make sales videos:
First, every light is shown with one of the DX girls holding it in a Very suggestive manner, while she swings off a stripper pole, using the light to highlight guys drooling around the stage.
Then each light is shown in a real backwoods setting, with a bear or moose being blinded by the light, while several toothless 400# guys in shorts, T shirts, caps and swamp boots sit around a campfire belching and breaking wind.
I always liked the DX site because they didn’t engage in the DD nonsense verbiage.
Nothing makes you look more stupid than to try to wax poetic in a language that you barely understand.
At least every description doesn’t come with the DD warning of “don’t point flashlights in your eyes…especially the kid”.
I never tire of reading this! I read this when it was first posted and I just read it again. I was cracking up so bad I couldn't hold it in! And I'm at work, so others are probably wondering what the heck is going on! Love it!
"All of my life, when purchasing office supplies, the number of breasts on the tip of my pens had always been an underlying factor in the back of my mind. Finally, something has fulfilled this for me. thank you DX.
It's a wonderful gift for smoking friends or you also can take it as a valueable collection. It may adept your noble flavour and taste. All you need to do is press down on the button to the top and release its flame ready to serve your needs.