Personally, I donāt usually care which words people useā¦ I care more about the underlying message. I mean, slurs are still to be avoided, particularly ones with a bloody history, but common āfour letter wordsā seem pretty harmless. And some pretty harmful things can be said with flowery words.
I recognize that goes against both local convention and mainstream culture though, so itās generally a good idea to follow that instead. As they say, when in Rome, do as the Romans doā¦
ā¦ even if the Romans were invasive imperialist jerks.
I had no intent to belittle anyone, I was only suggesting to let it stay so people that wonāt call someone out can get the last word. I guess my wording made it sound belittling. I call it how I see it and donāt sugar coat what I say. Sorry if I offended anyone.
Only SB knows for sure, but I get the impression that a lot of the ārudeā points are sent from people who arenāt actively participating in the discussion. Itās a way to let someone know to be more careful without turning the thread into an off-topic discussion about etiquette.
Private messages can be used for this too, but it doesnāt happen as often and doesnāt give SB the same visibility into issues he might need to resolve. PMs can also be somewhat risky (or at least socially awkward) for the person asking for better behavior, and can easily escalate into disputes. Escalation is far less likely with the current system, aside from people occasionally complaining about the system itself.
The rude system can be abused, but the consequences are much more harsh than for someone merely making obnoxious posts. It gets SBās attention and carries a high risk of getting the abuser banned, because it demonstrates harmful intent.
Itās not perfect, but it seems better than how things were before. The system was added because threads kept going into angry death spiralsā¦ and that is much less common now.
Oh it is a heck of a lot better than it was right before the rude system was implemented. No doubt about that.
Interestingā¦ I was under the impression that the person giving the rude mark could not be identified. From what you say TK looks like I was mis-informed.
Teacher, you have always been very amicable and friendly to me. I appreciate that! I do call things how I see them and never sugar coat my words. If I wasnāt reserved here I would have been kicked out long ago. I spent most of my working life in many supervisory positions, in the Navy I was a very young leader and made rank faster than normal because of my ways, one was telling my leaders how things really were, the hard truth and not telling them what weaklings think they want to hear. In the restaurant and nightclub business I had to get my point across to people with thick hard skulls, in IT I was the director of technology for a small but very busy hospital and had a few hundred āusersā that were a buncha dumb@#ā¬Ā„!, it was hard but I did talk to the nurses gently, the arrogant doctors not so much. when I was a fugitive recovery agent I used strong language not because I liked it, because that is the only language scumbag degenerate filthy criminal shĀ„&#ā¬?s understand. Well that and a nightstick across the skull or stun gun at the base of the neck gets your point across most of the time. Putting big bad tough guys in pink handcuffs and pink leg shackles pisses them off and takes away their bad attitude most of the time. Ha! But dealing with the hard criminals I discovered using respect not kissing their butt worked most of the time. Treating a criminal gently was hard to do because they were scumbags, but respect went a long way and they cooperated when I was respectful. If respect didnāt work, I used different methods, but they all eventually gave in and went to jail and I got paid. This is the only forum Iāve been where profanity is not allowed. It is a good idea, and the rude button lets SB know who gave it. I wonder if it was public knowledge who gave it how that would go??? What do you think?
This was a good point and my style to live, I tell what I think with no malevolent attacks hide in beautiful words. Since my conscious is clean, I cant do nothing if someone canāt deal with my thoughts :innocent: