Poll: Should We Do Away With Anonymous Rude Marks?

Yeah, can be it too

Personally, I don’t usually care which words people use… I care more about the underlying message. I mean, slurs are still to be avoided, particularly ones with a bloody history, but common “four letter words” seem pretty harmless. And some pretty harmful things can be said with flowery words.

I recognize that goes against both local convention and mainstream culture though, so it’s generally a good idea to follow that instead. As they say, when in Rome, do as the Romans do…

… even if the Romans were invasive imperialist jerks.

I’m not still salty about that.

Yeah, I’d worry about little flakes of metal floating around in the driver area.

I had no intent to belittle anyone, I was only suggesting to let it stay so people that won’t call someone out can get the last word. I guess my wording made it sound belittling. I call it how I see it and don’t sugar coat what I say. Sorry if I offended anyone.

No “offense” taken here. It was dished out to you & you responded …. that is all I saw.

Only SB knows for sure, but I get the impression that a lot of the “rude” points are sent from people who aren’t actively participating in the discussion. It’s a way to let someone know to be more careful without turning the thread into an off-topic discussion about etiquette.

Private messages can be used for this too, but it doesn’t happen as often and doesn’t give SB the same visibility into issues he might need to resolve. PMs can also be somewhat risky (or at least socially awkward) for the person asking for better behavior, and can easily escalate into disputes. Escalation is far less likely with the current system, aside from people occasionally complaining about the system itself.

The rude system can be abused, but the consequences are much more harsh than for someone merely making obnoxious posts. It gets SB’s attention and carries a high risk of getting the abuser banned, because it demonstrates harmful intent.

It’s not perfect, but it seems better than how things were before. The system was added because threads kept going into angry death spirals… and that is much less common now.

Oh it is a heck of a lot better than it was right before the rude system was implemented. No doubt about that.

Interesting… I was under the impression that the person giving the rude mark could not be identified. From what you say TK looks like I was mis-informed. :slight_smile:

Teacher, you have always been very amicable and friendly to me. I appreciate that! I do call things how I see them and never sugar coat my words. If I wasn’t reserved here I would have been kicked out long ago. I spent most of my working life in many supervisory positions, in the Navy I was a very young leader and made rank faster than normal because of my ways, one was telling my leaders how things really were, the hard truth and not telling them what weaklings think they want to hear. In the restaurant and nightclub business I had to get my point across to people with thick hard skulls, in IT I was the director of technology for a small but very busy hospital and had a few hundred “users” that were a buncha dumb@#€¥!, it was hard but I did talk to the nurses gently, the arrogant doctors not so much. when I was a fugitive recovery agent I used strong language not because I liked it, because that is the only language scumbag degenerate filthy criminal sh¥&#€?s understand. Well that and a nightstick across the skull or stun gun at the base of the neck gets your point across most of the time. Putting big bad tough guys in pink handcuffs and pink leg shackles pisses them off and takes away their bad attitude most of the time. Ha! But dealing with the hard criminals I discovered using respect not kissing their butt worked most of the time. Treating a criminal gently was hard to do because they were scumbags, but respect went a long way and they cooperated when I was respectful. If respect didn’t work, I used different methods, but they all eventually gave in and went to jail and I got paid. This is the only forum I’ve been where profanity is not allowed. It is a good idea, and the rude button lets SB know who gave it. I wonder if it was public knowledge who gave it how that would go??? What do you think?

This was a good point and my style to live, I tell what I think with no malevolent attacks hide in beautiful words. Since my conscious is clean, I cant do nothing if someone can’t deal with my thoughts :innocent:

:+1: :beer:

Well said SSV. :+1: … It sounds as though you have had a variety of experience also. :wink:

It was actually discussed earlier in this thread to make the giver if the rude mark public. But it was decided that would not work.

I & a few others felt different…… BUT, this is SB’s house & his rules. And that also works fine with me, cause I think he does a fantastic job!!

So onward we go……. :slight_smile:

Thanks also for the kind words. You just seem like a straight forward person to me. I like as well as respect that.

Straight forward is good. Straight forward and polite is even better.

I believe SB posted that in the original rudeness thread: [2016-06-11] Crackdown on rudeness

Anonymous to us, revealed to SB so that he can deal with people who abuse it.

Edit: SB responded to this thread earlier and said the same here: Poll: Should We Do Away With Anonymous Rude Marks? - #158 by sb56637

Probably did… Correction… seems he did. I’m just getting old(er) & forgetful it seems :smiley:
What was it someone called it/said they had, in another thread? CRS ???
Anyway…
I think I have the beginning of early onset (yeah, 65 is early… :wink: ) CRS. :open_mouth:

Can’t Remember Stuff…… :smiley: .
Either way, it is what it is; whether I remember it or not.
But……… I am very glad he can. :wink:

That’s what I used to do, until people on this forum got very upset with me :smiley:

Anything sugar is not so popular these days. Less sugar, more exercise… You know… :stuck_out_tongue:

Well… some people seem to be sugar addicts. But, SB has already said numerous times since the Rude! system was implemented, that it is working as he intended and there is no large scale abuse. And, although I don’t like getting Rude! points (especially since I don’t think I deserve them) the truth is that the Rude! system is more of a soft reminder to us of how our words are received here. The real enforcement is handled directly by SB, as it always has been. And he’s really good at it, IMHO. This is the best forum I’ve ever participated in!

I believe no one but sb can see who is making the rude reports. Which I believe is the beauty of the system. Anyone can “complain” about a post and not be identified by the general membership. Being able to ID the complainant by members at large, especially the person being reported, will too often lead to unwarranted recriminations against by the offender. And then everything escalates into forum hell, which is what we’re trying to avoid or prevent. As sb mentioned too, our rude reports helps him sort out whether something he finds possibly offensive is offensive to the general membership.

+1

Two-way “policing” should help balance things out.

I recently learned that some people think I’m kind of scary. So… it’s probably good that there’s a way for people to anonymously tell me I crossed a line. They might not do anything at all if it wasn’t anonymous.

As for calling it like one sees it, and not sugar-coating words, it sounds awfully close to being rude on purpose and being proud of it. Escalating by choice… which is kind of why the ‘rude’ button exists. Too many people were doing that, and it quickly turned into a dumpster fire.

As mentioned a few posts ago, “respect went a long way and they cooperated when I was respectful” is typically a better default style. It helps people interact as rational agents instead of falling back on old primal habits which haven’t really evolved away yet.