GiveAway: Set of Eneloop batteries!!

Count me in,

Here are some corrections I would suggest.

Original / Corrected

Main page

Eneloop: simply the best! / Eneloop: Simply the best!
to be the top in the NiMH battery industry till today. / to be the top in the NiMH battery industry to this day.
Special editions batteries / Special edition batteries
All chargers 2005-today / All chargers 2005 - Today
not all of their chargers are good / not all of their chargers are good.
called Dumb chargers / called dumb chargers
warmer, even bicycles and more. / warmer, bicycles and more.

From eneloop test results page

can have an advantage is very low current devices / can have an advantage in very low current devices
Eneloops are not only powerful but also some very high quality cells that track close. / Eneloops are not only powerful high quality cells, they are consistent from cell to cell
The next test is done for a comparison / The next test is a comparison

From full line up 2005-2017 page

For the full line-up of alle eneloop limited / special edition / For the full line-up of all eneloop limited / special edition
An interesting observation that this generation / An interesting observation is that this generation
Launch date: 2014/2015 depending on the market) (*2) / Launch date: 2014/2015 (depending on the market) (*2)

From Special edition batteries page

From 2009 eneloop`s / From 2009 eneloop
there have been made exactly 21 different kinds of limited editions / there has been 21 different kinds of limited edition batteries made

Will post later some other corrections I find…

Thanks!

So many corrections, do you regret the givaway already, Chibi? :stuck_out_tongue: :party:

I’m in,
It all sounds a bit too Dutch to me.
Try not to make it sound too Dutch.

Love the comments.

Thanks everyone, keep them coming.

Well, I have asked it before, but without many replies about the content, so this way I can at least get some real feedback :) yeehaa

Uhmmm kind of :p

Happy to help edit, here’s a suggested improvement to the first paragraph:

Eneloop: simply the best!

You get to know everything about eneloops Learn more information about the history of eneloop batteries, and which are the best value today.

We got you covered with almost 20 pages of information dedicated to eneloops on this website, referred to as the eneloop encyclopedia, aka eneloop wikipedia.

I’d delete this sentence since it offers no value.

Eneloop batteries were (changed to plural to be consistent) first introduced in November 2005 by Sanyo Japan. Tests have continued to show that these are the best performing batteries in the industry.

In 2007 Sanyo also started producing C and D size batteries. In 2009 limited they also produced a Tones edition and in 2010 their first Low capacity version, (for low-drain devices) the Eneloop Lite. In the same year, a high-capacity model (for high-drain devices) was also produced and was called Eneloop XX/PRO.

In general, the language is pretty rough, but you should be focusing on your site benefits, not just the history of eneloop.

*List of specialized battery chargers and analyzers

easey should be easy

*Rewrapped eneloops
Sony CycleEnergy
AA: NH-AA-B4GN
AAA: NH-AAA-B4GN

doesn’t make sense

You said: Since then they regularly updated their special edition line-up with many kinds of wrappers

I think updated should be update since updated is past tense. So you should have this instead: “Since then they regularly update their special edition line-up with many kinds of wrappers”, or this “Since then they have regularly updated their special edition line-up with many kinds of wrappers”

I think I got everything changed up till now.

nquinn has a good point about the homepage. I will probably delete quite a bit of text and focus on the benefits of the site... good idea. Just don`t know how much to delete yet.

In the FAQ section (and on other occasions) you used an accent character instead of an apostrophe:

…, you can only charge it till 70% of it`s full capacity.

Use either “it’s” or “it’s”.

(AA)

Actually it should be “its” without an apostrophe.

Special editions batteries sounds weird, maybe go with “Special edition batteries” instead?

I need AAA’s if I win :slight_smile:

The same sentence “In 2007 Sanyo also started producing C and D size batteries……. Eneloop XX/PRO” is written twice on the first page. Is it a mistake ?
(AA)

Located one at http://eneloop101.com/batteries/rewrapped-batteries/
Mainly avaialble in Europe and Asia
Thanks for the giveaway!

In the About page, there’s the “my official name is” that irks my pedantic self a bit. I think it’s better to just say “my name is” or if you really want to be specific then “my real name is” or even “my legal name is”.

I already have 2 dozens of AAA for home use, so if I win I’d love to have some AAs :slight_smile: Thank you.

thanks for GAW, need some AAA’s

on the rewrapped batteries page:

-But since FDK is owned by Fujitsu there are more and more batteries out there that have a “eneloop” inside of them.
replace letter a with the word an

In the next sentence replace follow with read, and maybe use one to one instead of one on one
-That being said, if you follow the following list carefully, you`ll see that they are not always one on one copies.

Updated the site with the new ideas, thanks all! Keep them coming. Or for people who can't find anything, please read rule 3B :)

Use the TOP menu to get to all the pages

Use the menu on the top of the page to Navigate this Website

4AA

thanks
thumbs up on facebook

I can always use more AAs.

Homepage:

  • I would replace “A list of characteristics on how to spot some counterfeits.” with simply “How to spot counterfeits.
  • I personally don’t like how the introductory paragraph reads. I would replace it with this: “Welcome to eneloop101.com aka Eneloop Encyclopedia aka Eneloop Wikipedia.We`ve got you covered with almost 20 pages of information dedicated to Eneloops!
  • Both, Sanyo and Panasonic made some interesting chargers.” Remove the comma.
  • The sad thing is that not all of their chargers are good”. Personal preference: I would change “The sad thing is that” to “Unfortunately”.
  • In 2009 limited they also produced a Tones edition and in 2010 their first Low capacity version”. Do not capitalize “Low”. Also change it to “low-capacity” (add hyphen).
  • For the complete line-up of all 21 special editions watch All limited edition Eneloop batteries”. I would change the word “watch” to “see”.
  • Watch all the Eneloop products (Eneloop Universe) ever produced”. Change to: “Click here to see all the products that Eneloop has ever produced (Eneloop Universe)” or more simply: “See all the products that Eneloop has ever produced (Eneloop Universe)
  • In the last paragraph, in one place you have Eneloop Universe surrounded by single quotes and later on with double quotes ’ vs “. Make them consistent. I would use double quotes ”
  • In 2009 Sanyo released their first limited edition eneloops, called Eneloop tones.” > “In 2009 Sanyo released their first limited edition Eneloops, called Eneloop Tones.
  • In 2010 Sanyo Eneloop celebrated their 5 year anniversary with a special edition Eneloop, called Eneloop Tones Glitter. Since then they regularly update their special edition line-up with many kinds of wrappers including Chocolate tones, Forest tones, with the latest addition being the Eneloop tones expedition.” > “In 2010 Sanyo Eneloop celebrated their 5 year anniversary with a special edition Eneloop, called Eneloop Tones Glitter. Since then they regularly update their special edition line-up with many kinds of wrappers including Chocolate Tones, Forest Tones, with the latest addition being the Eneloop Tones Expedition.

Good reference about comma usage that I happened to find:

Hyphenation:
http://www.marywood.edu/marketing/brand/editorial-guide/hyphenation.html

DoubleA & SoCalTiger used to be my English teachers

whahaha.. Well, I`m definitely glad they help me out!!