Waiting for the But
The “Be positive” reminded me of this one:
Appendicitis
Fortunately, after a brief skirmish, I seem to have gained the upper hand in the battle against my internal organs, at least until they learn to read and find out the mean stuff I've said about them.
Little Johnny was scared of the mosquitoes around him. He asked his father what to do.
“Just turn the light off, son, and they’ll go away”
He did so, and in the darkness, started to see fireflies.
“It didn’t work, dad! Now they’re coming with flashlights!”
Just spent $300 on a limousine and discovered that the fee doesn't include a driver... Can’t believe I’ve spent all that money and have nothing to chauffeur it!
Just in time for Mother's Day:
Alternate Histories
I… don’t get it.
Anyhoo, “alternate history” that I do like:
Man: before we go any further, we must agree upon which stopword we will use.
Woman: stop!
Look… it’s Moth Man!
Haha but usually use another word
Swimming
Just remember that a shark big enough to tear you apart violently can swim in water up to your knees.
But if all those so ripped apart would’ve had a Klarus flashlight with tactical strobe, they’d still be alive today.
I like that xkcd touch of the little umbrella at the bottom and the octopus moving to check it out.
Now that you mention it, it might be a red and white Umbrella Corporation umbrella!
…probably…
xevious:I like that xkcd touch of the little umbrella at the bottom and the octopus moving to check it out.
Now that you mention it, it might be a red and white Umbrella Corporation umbrella!