If you give wolves some alcohol they’ll show that muscle even they may dance after fully drinking it
12 years ago
Expiration Date High Score
"Wait, we've MOVED since 2010. How on Earth did--" "Look, some of us were just born to be champions."
So… she’s 37? 
Great toddlers and great movie. The older one is very understanding towards the younger.
Inbox
Rome's declaration of war against Carthage was sent from a no-reply address, so Hannibal had to cross the Alps to deliver his "UNSUBSCRIBE" response in person.
Might be a repost
Seen today:
BRA vs BAR?
The same letters and for both men are waiting eagerly to open…
What’s green & pear shaped ?
A pear. 
Funny, but when a cow-orker and I were sitting right outside the boss’s office, people treated us (mainly him, ’cause he was right outside her door) like the receptionist or secretary.
"Do you know where X is?"
"Can you tell X to call me when she gets back?"
"Do you know when X will be back?"
ad nauseam.
He made up a rather large poster, listing things like
No, I don't know where X is.
I have no idea when X will be back.
Sorry, I can't take messages for X.
and on, and on, a full page’s worth.
X thought it was funny, but “coincidentally” a week or two later when the COO stopped by, the COO read it, got a chuckle, but it was taken down within hours.
Funny how close that scenario is to the original one. XO staff with no humor… not a fun place to work.
Geologic Time
"Ok, well, we'll be sure to pay you sometime soon, geologically speaking."
one big difference between men and women is that
if a woman says “Smell this!”
it usually smells nice
Two old men are sitting on a bench in the park.
A: My youngest grand daughter told me she has a new job.
B: Nice, where is it?
A: In a message parlor.
B: And does it make good money?
A: Depends on how the message is delevered, by hand or by mouth.
B: Ah, a Sing-A-Gram.
Went to the local zoo today, they only had 1 dog.
It was a Shih Tzu