have you heard the one about the skunk?
never mind, it stinks
YIKES!
Math Work
C’mmon guys. What kind of jokes are these??try to ever beat this one…
- what do you get if you drop a piano into a mine shaft?
- A Flat Minor
Yeah, I don’t get a lot of this newfangled innernet humor.
Okay, here’s something more my speed…
Ah, and can’t forget this one…
It’s fun watching the others trying to stifle their own laffs.
I hope this isn't a repost.
….except for his flashlight collection !
Chemistry Nobel
Faculty:Student Ratio
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Visit From the Man in Red
Rey and Kylo
Is it Christmas?
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that’s more like it!)
(I already have 2 bombs)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)
A pig’s orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(O.M.G.!!!)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.(Creepy)
(I’m still not over the pig.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Don’t try this at home;maybe at work.)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male’s head off.
(Honey, I’m home. What the…?)
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It’s like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes. Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still can’t believe that pig …quality over quantity.)
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm…….)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you’re ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing.)
A cat’s urine glows under a black light. (I wonder how much the government paid to figure that out.)
An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.)
Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like that, too.)
Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they’ll live a lot longer.)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig? Do the dolphins know about the pig?)
This is just one of the posts I loved after I had joined.
You probably don’t know it, but you are the weirdo that got me to come back to this site after bookmarking it almost a year earlier.
I had no idea what the members were talking about, drivers and reverse clickys and tint.
Just figured they were freak nerds, but the Daily Joke Thread was always worth a read if I hadn’t lurked for a month or so.
Anyway one day I laughed really hard and decided to explore other parts of the site and try to figure out WTF these people were talking about and then on Sept 4 2012 I joined and haven’t left since.
So thank you Jacktheclipper for your weird poems and everyone else past and present for having me along for the ride, what a strange trip it’s been (Jerry R.I.P.)
Later,
Easily amused sometimes,
Keith
OK, hard to beat that pig, but…
Nice!
Did you find that on Reddit?
Why did the walrus go to the Tupperware party?
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Because he was looking for a tight seal.