The Daily Joke Thread

Props!

Takes me at least 14 cups to do that.

The cops at my door asked me where I was between 5 and 6 .

They took me downtown for more questioning

when I told them kindergarten

Hey what did you expect? We were investigating a flasher complaint :cowboy_hat_face:

Speaking of which…

Burning bears is unbearable humor. Smoky would
Not be amused. :email:

So, the 2 Irishmen, Paddy and Shamus, are walking home from the pub. Paddy stops and says,“Shamus, I’ve got to have a piss.” Shamus says “what the hell Paddy,it looks like ye got a steerin wheel wrapped around yer pecker there! Paddy says ” I know! It’s drivin me nuts!”

Wheel funny.

Coronavirus Name

It's important to keep the spider from touching your face.

What does an eighty-year old woman taste like?

Depends

The Mexican word for the day is : Chicken strip
“My girlfriend can’t dance to well
but chicken strip!”

A bit like the one before. It’s an oldie from a magazine.

Spaceship lands in a park. Next to a pond with swans.
An alien steps out and says to the biggest swan: “take me to your Leda”.

Scientific Briefing

I actually came in in the middle so I don't know which topic we're briefing on; the same slides work for like half of them.

Hoarding

Did you hear about the Polish Coyote ?

He gnawed 3 of his legs off , and was still stuck in the trap !

Are you sure it wasn’t a blonde female coyote? :wink:

Exa-Exabyte

To picture 10^18, just picture 10^13, but then imagine you connect the left side of the 3 to close off the little bays.

RC
Your toon reminds me of the early days of my selling and trying to teach non-tech folks about personal computers.
At some point you it’s:

“OK I’m falling back to the hand puppets”

All the Best,
Jeff

A blonde goes to the doctor

The doctor asks , what are you here for ?

She says - I keep finding postage stamps from Ecuador in my underwear

The doctor is quite puzzled but says , OK let me examine you .

After the examination the doctor brings her in the office for consultation

He says , they are not postage stamps . they are stickers from bananas !

My mom has been around computers her entire life, yet she has no idea how big a KB/MB/GB/TB is.

To her credit, she's 77 and she actually knows computers pretty well for her age.