The Daily Joke Thread

Nope, cornbread r squared, cake r round.

I knew Yogi had a big ol’ mean-streak…

Worse, he’s an angry drunk.

Especially after he was jailed for beating BooBoo into a coma.

Sad day…

A Freudian Slip is when you say one thing, but you mean your mother.

Where do you find the meaning of life?

The dictionary
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Yesterday, a beautiful girl asked me if I wanted to watch a movie. She said, “What movie would you like to see?”

I said, “You pick.”

She said, “You pick.”

I said, “I don’t care. You pick.”

She said, “Sir, there are people waiting behind you waiting to buy tickets.”
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A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail.

The snail says: ‘What the hell was that all about?

Did you hear that the guy who wrote the hokey pokey song recently died? They couldn’t close the casket at his funeral.

Because they put his left foot in , he put his right foot out

Low-Background Metal

The only effect on the history books were a few confusing accounts of something called 'Greek fire.'

Good one. :smiley:

Careful guys so that this doesn’t turn into a politics thread. I’ve seen these things get ugly fast, that’s definitely not what we want to happen in lighthearted joke thread.

I have delegated my post.
In view of the dozens of Obama jokes on this thread I assumed that a few Trump jokes would be acceptable ( and they are funny ).
Your knowledge of the forum members is far greater than mine though so please accept my apologies.

Thanks, appreciate it! :+1: As always, I’d like to clarify that I’m not trying to enforce any sort of political agenda here, I simply step in to prevent politics of any leaning from being discussed here, because it always lead to fights.

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:wink:

Good point. Joke image removed. Thanks for the friendly heads up. :+1:

That's a really mean spirited video.

Not much offends me, but that video is over-the-top offensive.

So the parish priest is sent to a far off outpost in the artic circle ..he's there for a month , three months ..a year goes by and the bishop feels like he needs to go check up on the priest . .."I appreciate your visit Bishop and your concern about me... but I've found as long as I have my Rosery and drink two martini's a day... living up here is really not that bad .... Hey Rosery get the bishop a martini .

What happens to chemists who die?

They barium.

They thought I had type A blood, but it turned out to be a typo.