Did you hear that the guy who wrote the hokey pokey song recently died? They couldn’t close the casket at his funeral.
Because they put his left foot in , he put his right foot out
Low-Background Metal
The only effect on the history books were a few confusing accounts of something called 'Greek fire.'
Good one.
Careful guys so that this doesn’t turn into a politics thread. I’ve seen these things get ugly fast, that’s definitely not what we want to happen in lighthearted joke thread.
I have delegated my post.
In view of the dozens of Obama jokes on this thread I assumed that a few Trump jokes would be acceptable ( and they are funny ).
Your knowledge of the forum members is far greater than mine though so please accept my apologies.
Thanks, appreciate it! :+1: As always, I’d like to clarify that I’m not trying to enforce any sort of political agenda here, I simply step in to prevent politics of any leaning from being discussed here, because it always lead to fights.
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Good point. Joke image removed. Thanks for the friendly heads up. :+1:
That's a really mean spirited video.
Not much offends me, but that video is over-the-top offensive.
So the parish priest is sent to a far off outpost in the artic circle ..he's there for a month , three months ..a year goes by and the bishop feels like he needs to go check up on the priest . .."I appreciate your visit Bishop and your concern about me... but I've found as long as I have my Rosery and drink two martini's a day... living up here is really not that bad .... Hey Rosery get the bishop a martini .
What happens to chemists who die?
They barium.
They thought I had type A blood, but it turned out to be a typo.
I started calling my iPod “Titanic.” Finally, it’s syncing.
At first I didn’t like my beard, but it grew on me.
In days of old, Cleopatra owned the most magnificent berry the world had ever seen.
And it was a male berry – as all majestic berry’s are.
People came from all over the world to see the berry and praise it magnificence.
Unfortunately too many also tried to steal her berry.
Eventually a heavy guard was place in the room where the berry was stored.
To challenge each viewer who came to view and praise the berry.
One day Mark Antony came with a large group to the viewing room containing the magnificent male berry.
In alarm the guard asked “Have you come to steal the berry?”
Mark Antony replied:
“I come not to seize her berry, but to praise him”
Rim-Shot,
All the Best,
Jeff
I wish my pencil lead wouldn’t break; it’s so pointless.
Did you hear about the Buddhist guy who went to the hotdog guy?
He said, “Give me a hotdog with everything on it”.
So, a Flat-Earth’er and a astronomer were arguing about the Flat Earth - (theory ?)
No amount of proof would the Flat Earth guy accept. All was fake.
In desperation the astronomer said - “Do you have cats?”
“Why yes”
“And you know their typical behavior?”
“Yes again”
Well, if the earth was flat,
Cats would have pushed everything over the edge by now….