The Daily Joke Thread

So the parish priest is sent to a far off outpost in the artic circle ..he's there for a month , three months ..a year goes by and the bishop feels like he needs to go check up on the priest . .."I appreciate your visit Bishop and your concern about me... but I've found as long as I have my Rosery and drink two martini's a day... living up here is really not that bad .... Hey Rosery get the bishop a martini .

What happens to chemists who die?

They barium.

They thought I had type A blood, but it turned out to be a typo.

I started calling my iPod “Titanic.” Finally, it’s syncing.

At first I didn’t like my beard, but it grew on me.

In days of old, Cleopatra owned the most magnificent berry the world had ever seen.
And it was a male berry – as all majestic berry’s are.

People came from all over the world to see the berry and praise it magnificence.

Unfortunately too many also tried to steal her berry.

Eventually a heavy guard was place in the room where the berry was stored.
To challenge each viewer who came to view and praise the berry.

One day Mark Antony came with a large group to the viewing room containing the magnificent male berry.

In alarm the guard asked “Have you come to steal the berry?”

Mark Antony replied:
“I come not to seize her berry, but to praise him”

Rim-Shot,
All the Best,
Jeff

I wish my pencil lead wouldn’t break; it’s so pointless.

Did you hear about the Buddhist guy who went to the hotdog guy?

He said, “Give me a hotdog with everything on it”. :laughing:

So, a Flat-Earth’er and a astronomer were arguing about the Flat Earth - (theory ?)
No amount of proof would the Flat Earth guy accept. All was fake.

In desperation the astronomer said - “Do you have cats?”
“Why yes”
“And you know their typical behavior?”
“Yes again”
Well, if the earth was flat,
Cats would have pushed everything over the edge by now….

“The Pet Collective” is often shown on “Animals Unscripted” on TBD. It’s a hoot!

One of the more memorable cats in the history of Hollywood…

Oh, thought you were referring to Orangey The Cat.

Reminded me of THIS one.

That’s funny.

It does a good job of telegraphing the kind of person who would post such a disgusting conspiracy laden farce. And I’m not surprised, given precedent. There’s tongue in cheek, but then there’s subversive agenda trying to masquerade as tongue-in-cheek. It’s one thing to poke fun at an individual, but another to do a full on character assassination. This, is duly noted.

That’s really funny! Who’d have thought that the Dalai Lama had never heard of pizza?

Well, 7 years later, Australia Today revisited this. Another chance to chat with the Dalai Lama. And then… this:

in this world there are two things that suck the most, one is the economy another is the politics, i’ll appreciate the one who mentions the third

why not say the earth is cubic which makes more sense than calling it flat because a cubic earth is likelier than a flat earth

who says that i even heard of him that everyday he doesn’t eat a pizza he won’t go to bed

People who can’t count?