Alrighty then… everyone else please carry on with the scheduled topic of jokes that are actually funny.
Hero football player catches a baby tossed from a burning building!
Granted, he shouldn’t have “spiked the ball” immediately after. 
“Controversial.” So imagine if you joke about the Ayatollah on an Iranian forum. That’s not cool in your country. In kind there are some things which you might think “simple” but are not in the context of another culture. And, the user who called you out — he’s the head admin of this site, so… he can pretty much do anything.
imagine not being a human, everything would look different
Don’t anthropomorphize computers. They don’t like it.
Nice!
Campfire Habitable Zone
Oh no, my marshmallow became tidally locked!
That’s very foretelling of what’s in store as ocean temps rise.
xkcd is excellent stuff. Here’s their extremely long timeline of Earth’s average temp rise: LINK.
That’s funny.
“How to get angrier at people you disagree with”
I must get a Tupac Chopra shirt…
Boat Puzzle
'No, my cabbage moths have already started laying eggs in them! Send the trolley into the river!' 'No, the sailing wolf will steal the boat to rescue them!'
Is it just me, or…
No, you isn’t
Hell, where is that ant-eater if you need one?
The last line in my previous post reminds me of something.
In any language there are typical expressions you just can’t translate into any other language. When life became less hard because of the introduction of modern household machinery people were at first a bit reluctant to buy them. Afraid operating those machines proved to be too difficult. As with the washing machine. But those early models were dead easy to operate.
So an expression emerged that also was used in other situations. “Een kind van drie kan de was doen” literally “a three year old child can do the laundry”. In later years those machines became more sophisticated, and a bit harder to operate. Which led to the expression that literally translates into “where is that three year old child if you need one”.
Needless to say that expression is quite obsolete now. A tar and feather treatment would be the least if you said those words in the wrong company. E.g. in the company of young parents. FYI modern education involves the use of electronic gizmo’s, not learning about expressions, and what they mean.
Rant over.
in that vein…
Groucho Marx on his health: when i get up in the morning, i feel like a 19-year-old, but there’s never one around.
Talking about growing old. Here’s an oldie. Sorry if it’s a re-post.
- After all these years my body is still a fine tuned mechanism.
I do a #1 at 7 o’clock, and a #2 at 8 o’clock.
- So what’s the problem.
- I never wake up before 9 o’clock.
Edit: sorry LB, you posted more of less the same one, about a year ago.
That is funny!
Thanks.
“No, it’s spring forward, and fall back…”