When my great grandfather designed the Titanic and it hit an iceberg and sank, he didn't sit around moping. He took those lessons to his next job designing airships, and he made the Hindenburg completely iceberg-proof!
Man and wife are sitting in front of the TV. Woman watching some show. Man reading a paper.
Suddenly the man says: OMG, I’m reading men in can earn $50/pop for sleeping with women.
The woman pulls out a calculator and says: since when can you stay alive on $45.83 per month?
PS I won’t reveal where is. Too afraid you get there before me.
At a funeral the grieving widow asks if anybody would like to say anything.
A man in the congregation stands up and walks to the head of the coffin, says “plethora” and sits down again.
” Thank you” said the widow, “it would have meant a lot to him”.
A photon is going through airport security. The TSA agent asks if he has any luggage. The photon says, “No, I’m traveling light.”
Q: What do you call a religious person who says the world is coming to an end?
A: A crackpot!
Q: What do you call a secular person who says the world is coming to an end?
A: An environmentalist!