You can tell you are getting older when:
“One for the road”
Means peeing before you leave the house.
All the Best,
Jeff
Reporting from Michigan…
A man goes into his son’s room to wish him goodnight.
His son is having a nightmare - the man wakes him and asks his son if he is OK?
The son replies he is scared because he dreamt that Auntie Susie had died.
The father assures the son that Auntie Susie is fine and sends him to bed.
The next day, Auntie Susie dies.
One week later, the man again goes into his son’s room to wish him goodnight.
His son is having another nightmare - the man again wakes his son.
The son this time says that he had dreamt that granddaddy had died.
The father assures the son that granddaddy is fine and sends him to bed.
The next day, granddaddy dies.
One week later, the man again goes into his son’s room to wish him goodnight…
His son is having another nightmare - the man again wakes his son.
The son this time says that he had dreamt that daddy had died.
The father assures the son that he is OK and sends the boy to bed.
The man goes to bed but cannot sleep because he is so terrified.
The next day, the man is scared for his life- he is sure is going to die.
After dressing he drives very cautiously to work fearful of a collision.
He doesn’t eat lunch because he is scared of food poisoning.
He avoids everyone for he is sure he will somehow be killed.
He jumps at every noise, starts at every movement and hides under his desk.
Upon walking in his front door at the end of the day, he finds his wife.
“Good God, Dear,” he claims, “I’ve just had the worst day of my entire life!”
She responds,
“You think your day was bad, the milkman dropped dead on the doorstep this morning.”
raccoon city,
that make no sense
to us i we LOVE it.
more, please.
Average Familiarity
How could anyone consider themselves a well-rounded adult without a basic understanding of silicate geochemistry? Silicates are everywhere! It's hard to throw a rock without throwing one!
That’s some gritty humor there. 
Every Data Table
I'm hoping 2022 is relatively normal because I don't know what symbol comes after the asterisk and the dagger.
Double-dagger, ‡.
Joe is having his tires rotated at his local mechanic and noticed a sign that says “We can tell you exactly what is wrong with your car with just an oil sample from your car.” He thinks it is rubbish but decides to test it out. He goes home and decides to prank the auto mechanic to prove his theory. After filling a small bottle half full of oil he has his wife, son, and daughter pee in the bottle as well. He takes it back to the auto mechanic and waits ten minutes for the result. The mechanic comes back and tells joe , I’ve got some good news and some bad news for you. Your cars fine but your wife’s having an affair, your son’s on drugs, and your daughter’s pregnant!
Wally the Walrus is driving along in Nevada when his car starts smoking under the hood. He pulls up into the next service station and a mechanic starts looking at the car.
While the mechanic is looking at the car Wally is starting to feel a little dehydrated (being a marine mammal in a hot climate). He goes to the attached Convenience Store and gets an ice-cream bar to cool down.
Having only flippers to hold the bar it is messy but it cools him down. Cooler now he goes back to the mechanic, who looks at him and says “looks like you blew a seal”.
Wally replies “nah, it was just an ice-cream bar……”
And after that, machete.
Projecting
This is something we all need to work on, but especially you all.
A Chinese man walked into the currency exchange in New York City with 2100 yuan and walked out with $300. The following week, he walked in with another 2100 yuan, and was handed $276. He asked the teller why he got less money that week than the previous week. The teller said, “Fluctuations.” The Chinese man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, turned around and shouted, “Fluc you Amelicans, too!”
“I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes.
Turns out it was the refrigerator all along.”
“Flucuations”…classic. Had to share that with a few asians I work with. All thought it funny 
“Euthanasia”, fooey. What about Youth in America??
Ultra-Serial Violet C light is unpolarized, so you don’t have to flip the polarizing filter over when you get the orientation wrong the first time.
I want one!
