The screwdriver probably doesn’t have to be all that long. It’s been a lot of years since I’ve done it and it turned very easy. I think I put a hole in the bottom first to get the oil out of the way.
I don’t think I’d bother with a drill. Just Hammer a good size nail into it for a starter hole for the screwdriver. Just do it near the cap but on the side where the can is stronger. But if you end up with a dent in it plenty of your other wrenches will probably work.
Iffn you have enough clearance to grab and turn then this type wrench finally got the filter off my ride-on mower.
You can often borrow nifty tools at auto parts stores.
You might check with the counter folk to see what they recommend.
Yes the proper tool is always best. But the hammer and the screwdriver will be done in 30 seconds. Then you can buy the proper tool at your convenience for the next time.
Scrap the car out. Melt it down and make a new car. You have to send a message to all the other cars that this sort of behavior wont be tolerated.
Kidding of course. I would try a piece of soft rubber under the strap wrench. The screwdriver route usually works but the cost of failure is high.
Maybe time to take it to an oil change place and let them figure it out?
I’ve always changed the oil myself on all my cars and every once and awhile the filter will be a pain. But a strap wrench will take care of it. Not sure what’s going on with yours.
Take it to a place like Jiffy Lube and have them change the oil this one time.
The times in the past when I had oil filters that didn’t want to come off the sandpaper trick worked fine. Except for one time and rather than driving a screwdriver or nail through the filter I had Jiffy Lube deal with it 
Did you lube the filter gasket before screwing it in the last time? That can cause the filter to stick and be difficult to remove.
My fave tool for an oil filter! Just happened to break my filter wrench one day and the neighbor borrowed my his. Had to get one of my own. One of the best tools I ever bought.
Swap out the motor
I’d listen to Oli . Anyone who has the word oil in his name must know about such things .
Paying $22 to have someone else change the oil just sounds like a brilliant solution.
I’m sorry you are having trouble. Such things happen to all of us but they can be frustrating. I use these “wrench caps” and they have been awesome. I got mine from autozone, I think. This should get the idea across though. No idea how good the harbor freight ones are though. They come in different sizes and make things way easier for hard to reach filters or ones that are stuck.
Just to be clear, I have the 9 in channellock oil filter pliers. I haven’t used them in the last 12 years because I have not needed them. Channellock also makes a 12 and a 15.5 in oil filter pliers. And plenty of other companies make them in 9 to 12 inches. But if you’re stuck and you don’t have an extra vehicle or you have got to get it done to drive to work the next day, then the screwdriver will get it off. I changed the oil in our three vehicles yesterday so I won’t have to do it during the winter. And I have never paid to have my oil changed. I do not enjoy doing it but I want to know it’s done right. The last used vehicle that I bought had a stripped oil drain bolt. It was not leaking but when I went to change the oil it was extremely tight and then it just spun and did not turn out. I had to clamp on with the 10-in vise grips hanging straight down and pull down as I was turning to get it to start catching what little threads were left. Apparently Ford intentionally makes the threads on the bolt softer than the threads in the pan so when some knucklehead over tightens things you can just buy a $5 plug. I’m sure many oil change places get the job done MOST of the time without issues.
Thanks. Already tried that.
That’s one of the tools I tried. No good. I’ll post a photo of tools tried later.
It’s on the driveway sitting on a jack and stand, wheel and covers removed.
It sounds like you have tried all the usual tools and tricks, and probably have a big oily mess with no option to take it anywhere.
The threads are likely galled or cold-welded from galvanic corrosion of dissimilar metals.
i don’t know if the flange is accessible, but i would be thinking of using a chisel and hammer to tap on the nut flange in the CCW direction, or an air impact hammer if you have that equipment. Anything to get some vibration into the thread joint to break it loose.
Good luck that is a tough situation.
Also get some pictures of what the filter currently looks like. If it’s really damaged at this point I would go and buy another identical one and cut it in half so you can see exactly where the structure is left inside. That way you know what you can grab with what tools. Depending on access. Or cut more away to get at the base plate once you know what the base plate looks like. Again room and access are going to dictate the next moves.
If you get to the base plate you can probably stick a screwdriver in one of the holes and use a hammer to drive it around. I hope I never get to that point on an oil filter lol.
If you have a 3d printer you could design a tool to fit in all the oil holes around the center and put a wrench on it.
I am afraid we are all missing the important question here: “95 Saturn wagon, not quite 80k miles.”. What? How is that possible?
Anyway, best of luck with the oil filter, I have nothing to add over what the others have already said.
I stopped changing my own oil when the price of oil went way up. My local garage does it for about $10 more than the cost of filter and 5 quarts of oil plus he will grease any odd fittings for me. A large pair of pump pliers should get your stuck filter off if you can get them in there and have room to turn.