False Sayings

“That’s what she said”

This is 6 inches.

"Just the tip."

"Don't worry, babe. It happens to everyone."

The answer to “does this make me look fat?”

By the way, do not say this:

"No, but your fat a$$ sure does!"

Time heals all wounds.

Tell that to a person missing an eye or a limb…

This house has all the closet space you could ever want.
Ain’t no such thang.
All the Best,
Jeff

9,999,990lm.

I do believe that only applies to emotional healing. It was never intended to mean physically.

Not gone over all pages, but one that always get me is ” I swear ”
Today i think it is just something people say without know why the hell they say it.

I have on occasions said ” I swear on my honor ” while raising my right hand, and very unusual for me looking people in the eye as i speak, and people knowing me know this is something i care about, hence why i only have 1 friend and see / interact with very few people.
BUT ! saying that is as rarely used as me saying ” I will take that bet ”

I swear is not a falsity…… for me anyway :person_facepalming: :wink: :beer: :beer: ….
Hell I swear all the time…… damnit !!!

Hi everyone, please be careful to avoid political statements, whether true, false, or just opinions.

Thanks so. Afraid this was about to go bad!

+1.

Thanks, sb!

“I cut myself because the knife was too sharp.”
Ever hear that one?

My pocketknives are razor sharp, and I've only drawn blood twice in fourteen years.

Both times were pretty minor, and they were my own fault--not the knive's fault.

Ask any professional chief - a dull knife is more likely to slip off whatever is being cut and end up in you.
The other day my wife was opening a cryovac pack. The plastic was really thick.
The knife jumped and - 6 stitches later from one of the quick care places - she was back in business.
She said it was her own fault for being too casual about her technique. It was only going to be a quick slice.

All our home knives are wicked sharp. I get grumped at if they get dull.
All the Best,
Jeff

Cheaters never prosper
(except when they don’t get caught)

Flattery will get you nowhere
(except sometimes into someones pants)

A watched pot never boils
(sure it does - I watched it)

Good things come to those who wait
(unless the guy who chased it down gets it first)

It’s the booze talking
(no, that would be you)

The enemy of my enemy is my friend
(Like Hitler and Stalin? Err. Never mind)

All the Best,
Jeff

I stuck my first pocket knife’s tip into my lower palm trying to open another present that came in a sealed clamshell package. It didn’t go in very deep but I will always remember that lesson—always cut away from your body. (And know when to use a scissors)

Anyway, it was no deterrent, I grew up loving knives and recently bought some cool custom knives at a knife show. I’ll try and post pics of them later.

… soo - God helps those who help themselves…?

No matter what your point of view in life (even if it’s in juxtaposition) I’m sure there’s an idiom for it.