The Daily Joke Thread

Police Response Time.
A supposed true story…
George Phillips of Meridian Mississippi was going up to bed when his wife told him that he’d left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window.

George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.

He phoned the police, who asked,
Is someone in your house?” and he said no.
Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available.

George said,
Okay,” hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.

Hello. I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed.
Well, you don’t have to worry about them now cause I’ve just shot them all.” Then he hung up.

Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips residence.
Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the policemen said to George:
“I thought you said that you’d shot them!”

George said,
“I thought you said there was nobody available!”

All the Best,
Jeff

To avoid being charged yourself for a false 911 call, simply record them on video.

“I thought you said you shot them!”

“I did… on video.”

FBI reveals items found in trumps safe during the Mara logo raid .

I can't believe it took them this long to let us see what they were really looking for .

Sculder & Mully!

What a relief, they didn’t find his secret stash of cheeseburgers!

Are you suggesting he is playing “hide the burger” with his backdoor fridge?

Age Milestone Privileges

If you reach 122, you get complete unrevertible editorial control over Jeanne Calment's Wikipedia article.

By any chance is the “God-Empress” named Hillary? :slight_smile:

Maybe her name is Melania?

The age of 25 renting a car reminded me of this gag:

1999 Toyota Corolla - Fine AF

https://www.craigslist.org/about/best/hou/6565526716.html

I think mine was more humorous. :partying_face:

I really don’t care, do U?

Since this is the joke thread, yeah I really do!

But hey, like one old fella told me, “all a steer can do is try.” :wink:

It’s OK. Most people failed to understand Melania’s joke - myself included.

That was a joke?

You could have fooled me.

It looks like you were just needlessly bringing up controversial politics on a forum that discourages that anywhere on the forum.

I mean, you literally bring up controversial politics more than anyone else on BLF.

I thought it was Hillarious. :clown_face::clown_face::clown_face:

Now that's funny!

Deleted

I thought that your usage of "I really don’t care, do U?" was very funny.