Most non-native English speakers will have more trouble with this than native English speakers will.
I can provide a translation if required. I used to work for this guy's mother.
Sat what? 
I catch a word here and there but that's about it. Kinda hard to believe he's rapping in english.
So that's how you speak, Don? Thank God you know how to type in proper English! 
I couldn't understand much in that YouTube video, but I'm just a silly American. TheChielMeister's video reminds me of most Guy Ritchie movies; I can't tell what the heck is going on even if closed captions are provided.
WTF It would make more sense played backwards lol. (to me anyway)
You speak Scots, Don? Very interesting. I barely understood a word of it, despite being formerly a heavy reader of Robert Louis Stevenson. In one of his books he provides a helpful footnote that ken=know, which is all I understood. :)
About half of the ships I sailed on had scots Cheif Engineers..who would ring the bridge hollering complete gibberish. The only bits I usually understood were the (usually plentiful) swear words.
I had no real idea how hard to understand a wee bit of rappin could be .. even the text doesn't help. If you just listen to the flow it almost makes more sense .
Everything i ever learned about true scottsmen came from "Star Trek"
I can't look at that guy's face whilst he raps. Come on, that's not English, is it? What origin does that tongue source from? I'm assuming 'the guy' (rapper and person in the video) are the same.
And Tas62: there is really historical accuracy about Scots and Chief Engineers? (I also thought that was only Star Trek!) What is it I'm missing, and it still persists to this day? And even into the 25th century?
Oh yes....Scotty was a cliche character. I'm not sure about current trends. I came ashore in the mid-eighties, but it's quite probably persisting.
Scotty! I need more cowbell!
I haven't got anymore cowbell sir!
Scotty! Damn it!! I HAVE to have more cowbell!
She's givin' you all she's got sir!!
Scotty--more cowbell, and that's an order!
This is a very broadly accented version of the Doric dialect of Scots. Definitely rural, probably from northern Aberdeenshire or Buchan. Though the singer was born and brought up in Aberdeen. Actually, most of the time I sound like I write but the urban version of that dialect gets used every day by me - sometimes known as "Furry boots". Many Aberdonians are regularly asking "faur aboots" or "where is". I'm actually only a little literate in Scots, I pretty much have to speak it to translate it. There was a determined effort made to stamp it out from about 1850 on, my parents' generation were punished for using Scots at school and in many families children were punished for using it at home.
I remember one occasion when I was in Donside with an English lady friend - the English are notoriously bad at dealing with Scottish accents, let alone dialects. Anyway we were in a bar sitting beside Geordie, the gamekeeper who I've known since I was about six years old. In deference to my companion, I was speaking to him in a much more Anglo dialect than I'd normally use. Geordie was wondering what was up with me, and the effort was completely wasted as my companion thought I was speaking Gaelic to him.
So here follows a translation:
Fit lyke noo ma louns an quines?
How are you ladies and gentlemen?
Fit's e craic noo?
What's the gossip?
Ah thowcht ah'd spin ye ae wee yairn o ma lest wee duander aboot
I thought I'd tell you a little story about the most recent event in my life.
Is's gaun tae be brawlik
It's going to be good.
Noo...faw til't wi ma tombola nummer, seiven thoosan twa hunner eichty wan
My raffle ticket number 7281 won.
Min fit sonse, bit tae claim hit suin ah haed tae phone e baegers, mon noo git gaun
But to claim my prizeI had to call them. Come on now, get going.
Ah cawed em up lik a tarrie dug, fufty p, thay pit a chairge oan ae line!
I phoned them, fifty pence it cost me!
A wifie spak an ah axd "f''lyke noo?", an shae repone "You're not so refined!"
A woman answered the phone and I asked, "How are you?", and she answered, "You're not so refined!"
Weel, ah wis engert min, ah wis reid-wuid, an ah screicht it hir "Ma prize!"
Well, I was annoyed man, I was really annoyed, and I shouted at her,"My Prize!"
E wifie says "Come into town, yes, you're the very weird Scotch guy"
The woman says...
Ah feelt ma heid wis gaun tae bla' up sic wis e wye shae spak tae me
I thought my head was going to explode because of the way she spoke to me.
Ah says "ah"m nae en eig nor ae shankie o lamm bit ah'll aye win en aboot fir ma gree."
I say, "I'm not an egg nor a shank of lamb, but I'll always want revenge for the aggravation."
Ah'm e Chiel, ah'm e loun, ah'm nae ae guffie cloon sae dinna fasht if ah "dinna spik richt"
I'm a son of the soil, I'm a young man, I'm not an idiot clown so I'm not bothered if I "don't speak right"
Fit wye ca' ye nae jist lat me be? Ae fashit mannie's nae ae bonnie sicht
Why can't you just leave me alone? An annoyed man's not a pretty sight.
Ah'm nae spikkin sic jist tae mak ye raist, ts'e wye ah soond, ah dinna lee
I'm not speaking this way just to annoy you, it is the way I sound, I tell no lie
Ah'll nae parrie wi ae daftie, hae im tak iz fur ae neep, ah'd liefer claiver wi ae haet butterie!
I'll not speak with this uncomprehending idiot who thinks I'm a fool ("Neep" means turnip, but also means a person of comparable intelligence to a turnip), I'd rather speak to a hot Aberdeen roll.
The buttery is a typical staple of those who do not value their coronary arteries. Or believe that they even have them till they get blocked.
The recipe involves 500g of flour and 450g of butter. Oh yes, and a lot of salt. The dough is essentially the same as that for a croissant but with a lot more salt and hammered into a flattish circle then baked.
Wasn't he Canadian?
When I think of you Don .. I think of the Donster ..>> http://vimeo.com/14118693
ever fondly
your friend ...Boaz :)
I wouldn't understand a word without your help.
Oh my god... sounds like Jason Statham played backwards. :)
I have to visit Scotland one day. Two weeks at least.
A Scotsman in a bar in Cuba
A Scotsman is sitting in a bar in Cuba and is minding his business when
a man with a large black beard walks in. The man goes to the bar and
orders a shot of whisky. The bartender serves him, the man drinks the
whisky then starts walking out the door. The bartender says, "Hey aren't
you going to pay for that?" The man says, "Excuse me, Castro's Army."
The bartender says, "Alright then" and the man leaves.
A few minutes later another man with a large black beard walks in. The
man goes to the bar and orders a shot of whisky. The bartender serves
him, the man drinks the whisky then starts walking out the door. The
bartender says, "Hey aren't you going to pay for that?" The man says,
"Excuse me, Castro's Army." The bartender says "Alright then" and the
man leaves.
The Scotsman gets an idea and walks up to the bar and orders a shot of
whisky. He drinks the whisky then starts walking out the door. The
bartender says, "Hey aren't you going to pay for that?" The Scotsman
says, "Excuse me, Castro's Army." The bartender says, "Hey where is your
big black beard?" The Scotsman thinks quickly. He lifts his Kilt and
says, "Secret Service!"
Good one Budgeteer.
And I thought the character “Fat Bastard” from Austin Powers was overplayed.
Finally! took me an hour to dig the thered out. I had an urge to hear this fella again. Amazing. I hardly understand a few words here and there but it's very entertaining. Must be nice fella to down a few pints with!
My other half is Scottish, that video reminds me of her on a rant...I'm stood there not understanding a word.