The Daily Joke Thread

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Lumeniac
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ok, there is a special sort of really stupid jockes. i dont know if there is similar in other coutries. But there is one, well known among russian-speaking. 

 

the bear walked through the forest and saw a burning car. climbed into it and burned.

 

this one is so popular, there are bunch of memes about it. i`ve just even fount t-shirt based on it. 

jmoots
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How much space will Brexit free up in the European Union?

1 GB.

-joel

Henk4U2
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jmoots wrote:
How much space will Brexit free up in the European Union?

1 GB.
Thumbs Up

You are a flashaholic if you are forced to come out of the closet, to make room for more flashlights.

xevious
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xevious
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With a resolution to match! LOL

xevious
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Lightbringer
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Props!

Takes me at least 14 cups to do that.

09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0

Boaz
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    The cops at my door asked me where I was between 5 and 6 . 

They took me downtown for more questioning

   when I told them kindergarten

       καὶ τὸ φῶς ἐν τῇ σκοτίᾳ φαίνει καὶ ἡ σκοτία αὐτὸ οὐ κατέλαβεν

                            

       Dc-fix diffuser film  >…  http://budgetlightforum.com/node/42208

jf_smm
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Boaz wrote:

    The cops at my door asked me where I was between 5 and 6 . 


They took me downtown for more questioning


   when I told them kindergarten

Hey what did you expect? We were investigating a flasher complaint Steve

xevious
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jf_smm wrote:
Hey what did you expect? We were investigating a flasher complaint Steve
Speaking of which…

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Burning bears is unbearable humor. Smoky would
Not be amused. Mail

beggindog
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So, the 2 Irishmen, Paddy and Shamus, are walking home from the pub. Paddy stops and says,“Shamus, I’ve got to have a piss.” Shamus says “what the hell Paddy,it looks like ye got a steerin wheel wrapped around yer pecker there! Paddy says “ I know! It’s drivin me nuts!”

t ouellette

Starkm32
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Wheel funny.

raccoon city
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Coronavirus Name

Coronavirus Name
It's important to keep the spider from touching your face.
 
Quillz
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What does an eighty-year old woman taste like?

Depends

Quillz

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The Mexican word for the day is : Chicken strip
“My girlfriend can’t dance to well but chicken strip!”

Quillz

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A bit like the one before. It’s an oldie from a magazine.

Spaceship lands in a park. Next to a pond with swans.
An alien steps out and says to the biggest swan: “take me to your Leda”.

You are a flashaholic if you are forced to come out of the closet, to make room for more flashlights.

raccoon city
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Scientific Briefing

Scientific Briefing
I actually came in in the middle so I don't know which topic we're briefing on; the same slides work for like half of them.
MyRants
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Hoarding

"This too shall pass." -- Ancient Persian saying

Bwana
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Did you hear about the Polish Coyote ?

He gnawed 3 of his legs off , and was still stuck in the trap !

Rexlion
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Are you sure it wasn’t a blonde female coyote? Wink

raccoon city
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Exa-Exabyte

Exa-Exabyte

To picture 10^18, just picture 10^13, but then imagine you connect the left side of the 3 to close off the little bays.

jeff51
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RC
Your toon reminds me of the early days of my selling and trying to teach non-tech folks about personal computers.
At some point you it’s:

“OK I’m falling back to the hand puppets”

All the Best,
Jeff

Bwana
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A blonde goes to the doctor

The doctor asks , what are you here for ?

She says – I keep finding postage stamps from Ecuador in my underwear

The doctor is quite puzzled but says , OK let me examine you .

After the examination the doctor brings her in the office for consultation

He says , they are not postage stamps . they are stickers from bananas !

raccoon city
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My mom has been around computers her entire life, yet she has no idea how big a KB/MB/GB/TB is.

To her credit, she's 77 and she actually knows computers pretty well for her age.

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Chuck Norris has been quarantined…
…to save the coronavirus.

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Bwana wrote:
Did you hear about the Polish Coyote ?

He gnawed 3 of his legs off , and was still stuck in the trap !



I’m disappointed to see such stereotype based jokes here on BLF.
raccoon city
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Sabotage

image.png
So excited to see everyone after my luxury cruise home from the World Handshake Championships!
xevious
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raccoon city wrote:

My mom has been around computers her entire life, yet she has no idea how big a KB/MB/GB/TB is.


To her credit, she’s 77 and she actually knows computers pretty well for her age.

My mother is the same way. Gets around OK, occasionally needs help for a mistake, but yeah… she is a bit clueless about storage size. Both her and my sister mix up RAM with long term storage. Took me a long time to explain hard disk vs. SSD. Facepalm
forsh
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Agro wrote:
Bwana wrote:
Did you hear about the Polish Coyote ?

He gnawed 3 of his legs off , and was still stuck in the trap !



I’m disappointed to see such stereotype based jokes here on BLF.

yeah i didnt get that joke either

and my daughter is half polish, so it kind of butt hurt me

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