Time is short, so I need to post this-ok it's done and run it's course. Thanks to everyone for the replies...

Edit: Thank you to everyone who has replied. I think the comments were thoughtful, honest and I appreciate the time you took to read and reply.
I have been a member here for a long time. I has been my home. Second home sometimes and first home at others. It has been family and it had a huge impact on my and my wife's lives.
I have one big regret however and I need to discuss/vent. I allowed the members of this forum to put money into a pot, to buy me a lathe. Can you imagine this!? Buy a Lathe! My god, what was I thinking? Well, as you might guess, I wasn't and it backfired terribly and it is the reason I backed off the forum for a while and basically shut down for the most part, due to shame for what transpired. I feel SO BAD about this... Still!
I got the lathe. It was beautiful! I tried and tried to use it, but I found that I just COULD NOT! I just do not have the ability to do even basic math and that is absolutely needed for a lathe! I just could not use it, so I gave it away! Yes, I let another member come and get it! One bad decision after another was it!? Well, probably it was to many here, but it was not to me.
I just want to apologize, (that is all I can do), to any BLF members and as I live and breathe, I just want to tell you that I am SO SORRY for hurting anyone's feelings about this whole thing! It was WRONG of me to let you all take up the collection. It was also wrong of me to just give it away without telling you all and seeing what your input was. I FEEL VERY BAD STILL and I will till I pass away. I need to clear the air and hope that in time, those of you who were hurt, will forgive and forget. If I had known how much of an impact it had for me and for others, I absolutely would have never allowed the money to be given to me. It was a bad decision on my part, to allow it to happen.
I am sorry, but what is done is done and I hope that you who were hurt will heal and move on. It looks like, in a way, with me dying now, that it was best to let the lathe go and I STILL feel that Dale is a Good Man and a Good candidate for the lathe. I sincerely hope that those of you who have shunned him, will forgive and forget, as it was all me and my idea, not his! Who would refuse being given a lathe, so he took it and he deserves it just as anyone else would, so make the peace with him before I die, please.
Justin
EDIT: I think that much of it is that I just need to say it, for myself, to clear the air for myself. Maybe that works better and makes more sense.?

What was given was done as a sign of appreciation, Justin. Not for anything would I or anyone else who contributed want you to feel bad instead. By all accounts the money was very well spent and I have no qualms or regrets. I don’t know what else to say to let you know that I’m fine with how things turned out.

If we allowed stronger language here I’d say… I don’t give an eff. I occasionally donate small funds online… and after it leaves my paypal account- I honestly don’t care what happens with it. Not that I have some sort of big pull around here, but you don’t need to feel guilty for me. You’re an honest member, who contributes greatly to this site. It’s better here because of all the work you do.

I understand about the math. I suck at it too. I wouldn’t be able to use this any more then you would. I wouldn’t beat yourself up over this- I haven’t seen any evidence that anyone is mad, or has held grudges.

+1
No one should ever give a gift expecting something in return. …That’s a bribe.

Well, Justin, thanks for your honesty here. I don’t know what has been said or done, but I’m so sorry that you had to experience any kind of backlash for your decision to give the lathe to Dale. I’m also kinda fuming inside at the thought of such arrogance on the part of anybody here to think they have the right to judge you or Dale for what happened. As far as I’m concerned, the money given was yours to do with as you wish. After the money was spent, the lathe bought and paid for, it was still yours to do with as you wish. How could anyone think otherwise? Please don’t hold on to any regrets, Justin. To me, you are one of the most generous people on this forum. And you’ve inspired many of us to mod and build flashlights. You don’t deserve to feel bad about your decisions regarding the lathe. You did nothing wrong.

Don’t worry about it Justin, it was put to very good use and the results are shown on the forum.

:+1:

I think that most of it is that I just need to say it, for myself, to clear the air for myself. Maybe that works better and makes more sense.?

+1

Justin, I guess what most of us are trying to say is that we appreciate you and we feel bad that you feel bad, so we’re trying to help you feel better, so we can all feel better! :sunglasses: For a lot of us, there really were no strings attached with our gift. So in our minds and hearts, there’s nothing you’ve done or ever could have done with the money or the lathe that would have been wrong.

Dammit I want my money back, all two dollars of it !! Kidding :innocent:

Whilst I agree with all the above posts I understand your need to purge. Maybe with this post of yours any remaining sour feelings will be washed away. Your contribution to this forum has helped mold it to the super experience that it is - very friendly, very informative, super crazy builds, high power builds, budget minded builds, great reviews, vendor interaction (members), group buys, competitions, give aways…. the list goes on… Tell me something that you haven’t been involved in ??

As long as that money is contributed baclick to our small community here I don’t see a problem! :slight_smile:

I hope this vent let’s you feel feel better about the lathe, there’s certainly know hard feelings on my end.

Something like this could eat at a person, maybe getting it off your chest will help.

.
.

I was not pissed, just did not know why it happened. Really appreciate your post here, and in effect, am glad you told us as that is closure for those angry with the situation still (if there are any), as well as for yourself.

It fact, I have spent more time watching your videos and reading your threads than what I donated monetarily, so I am good with it.

Just the fact you feel bad about this still says volumes about your good character.

Your good by me, for what that matters…

I was one of the members that pressured you into getting a lathe . You made it clear from the first day that you did not really need or want one .

Do I feel guilty for pressuring you ? No.
Should you feel guilty for accepting the gift ? No.
Should you feel guilty for passing the gift on to another ? No.

Sometimes we do things out of brotherly love ,
So that others may share in our joy ,
When our vision is clear with a light from above ,
We can see our path clearly , old boy .

Justin , your many contributions to this forum have helped to create an atmosphere of true modding passion and selflessness here .

Thank you for sharing your time , skills , and thoughts with us .

+1!!

Remember, everyone that donated did it out of free will, no one was forced. :beer:

Justin, I read this on your blog as well. Believe me, it is all good, and there is absolutely no need for concern. You cleared the air for yourself, which makes sense, and is the important thing. Please don’t give it another thought.

What happens, that happens. The lathe was collected and unfortunately did not work out for you and now Dale is having the time of his life with it :slight_smile: , I understand that you would have liked it to have gone different, but that is easier seen afterwards than beforehand.

But the collection of enough money to buy you the lathe showed the huge appreciation for your contribution to the forum and that did not change by giving the lathe away.

The turn of events have been unfortunate for you, which is sad, but perhaps a silver lining is that the OL lathe story with all details and unexpected twists has IMO been one of the most interesting things that have happened on BLF!

+1! Breathe easy bud… this is one giant slightly dysfunctional family. I hope everyone is good and that you are good, I understand the worry and I hope you are freed of some of it now…

There was never any ill will…. you had the best of intentions and it just didn’t work out. No big deal.

You did nothing wrong my friend you did your best and you did not know what would transpire and you GAVE IT AWAY FREE OF CHARGE,to someone who could use it and you did not sell it for a profit and you have contributed so much to this forum.