What's a good phrase or statement you came up with recently?

I inadvertently cut off another driver in order to avoid another car who was destined to hit me. I figured it would be better to do that then take a hit and deal with car damage, filing a claim, and all that other drudgery.

The guy I cut off was driving a late model Dodge Charger. Muscle-Car options galore. He leaned on his horn and shook his fist at me out his open window. I put my hand up with open palm as an “OK, OK”. But he wasn’t having any of it. At the next light, he gets out of his car and starts walking towards mine. Should I keep my window rolled up and ignore him, or roll it down to have a little “chat?” I kept it up. He came over and rapped on my window while I was looking forward. “Like, WHAT THE F*CK do you think you’re doing, you F*CKING @SSHOLE, you nearly hit my 1 month old car!!” I had to turn and look at him. I said I had to avoid another car almost hitting me, and didn’t he see it? “WHAT THE F*CK ARE YOU SAYING??” OK, so I took a chance and cracked the window open an inch.

Starting with a civil question rather than a hostile uninformed claim goes a long way to avoiding confrontation. I was about to be hit by another car and had to act fast. I’m sorry I cut you off, but your new car braked well and you didn’t hit me. If I didn’t do this, I’d have been hit and then faced a really crapping situation and a lingering headache of having to get my car fixed. So THANK YOU for your understanding.”

“Oh, so take a chance of hitting a brand new car? That was a pretty stupid move!”

Clearly he was still fuming and wanting to vent.

“Again, if I didn’t move, that other car would’ve hit me. So I had a choice — a guaranteed hit, or a possible risk of a hit. I chose the latter, because I instantly saw a rather new well equipped sports car, having to believe the driver, you, would be skillful enough to avoid me.”

“Alright, just f*cking watch it next time.”

And he walked back to his car.

Not “recently”, but I built up a pile of “-isms” over the years, typically about jobs, the workplace, managers, etc.

Eg,

The best way to turn someone into a clockwatcher is to force him to act like one.

or

Never ever ever underestimate the power of even the slightest convenience... nor the *negative* power of the slightest *inconvenience*.

things like that.

Not recently, but here it is.

Never do a bad job well.

Not my phrase really, but I’ve certainly had to live through the results:

Never become irreplaceable in whatever job you hold; that way you become unpromotable.

Which makes it harder to get out of that bad job…

Never put off until tomorrow what others can do for you today.

Dinner will be ready when you hear the smoke alarm go off

“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”

Never make eye contact with a dude while eating a banana.

(unless………you know)

“I would feel the same way. if I was in your position.”

The only time to bet on a horse… is when the jockey gets off it.

Maybe guns don’t kill people but did ever try pushing a bullet into someone?

Old age is a side effect……………of not dying.

Getting old sucks. Except compared to the alternative.

Never take yourself too seriously.

Wanna get on your feet again?
Miss a few car payements.

Actually my boss said it but it bears repeating.

People form opinions based on what they “think” they know.
Oli (5 years ago).

My foreman is like a joint
The harder you suck the higher you get

“I didn’t get this old by being in a hurry.”
— Mom, nearly 90, contemplating making it a bumper sticker
after an impatient tailgater leaned on his horn.

=

“If you have the choice between a hypothetical situation
and a real one, choose the real one.”
– Joan Baez (to Michael Krasny, KQED radio, 2/4/2003)

[from Polish TV interview]

[interviewing lady]: don’t women complain about your short stature?
[known politic]: No, when I stand on my wallet I’m just perfectly tall for them.

Even stupid people better not deny science, there is no escaping it, there is no alternative.
(my message to mankind)