I lost my Mother 8 weeks ago, In the space of 2 weeks she was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer and passed away. She didn’t deserve the way she died, to put it bluntly her final 24 hours was horrific.
Her final 6 days we cared for her at home with the help of 12 carers / nurses coming in each day to give her the treatment she needed.
3 days after her death my Father started to come down with something, 3 days later we called an ambulance which took him in and a few hours later we were told it was Covid. The same day me and my sister also tested positive who had been my parents main carers during the pandemic and had followed all the rules to keep us all covid free. We are thinking it was brought in by one of the carers / nurses.
6 days after that he died, the hospital was good enough to allow us in to spend the final 6 hours with him.
We buried them both 4 weeks ago today.
I feel like I’m only starting to process everything that has happened now and it’s hitting me pretty damn hard. I’ve lost distant family members in the past but never been close and this is the first time in my life I’ve had to deal with a close family member passing and I’m struggling.
My heartfelt condolences, CM2010. I lost my father (2011) and my brother (2017) and that was way harder than anything I had to go through before. Lorazepam helped me to have some sleep, but it took a lot of time to get back into regular life. Love is never without grief.
So sorry to read such a sad story. Just wanted to pass on my condolences too, losing anyone is always a very sad time, losing both mother and father in such a short time must be terrible for you.
My thoughts are with you at this very sad time in your life. Losing someone so close is always a bit hit to you, but there is always light at the end of it even though that light might be faint and hard to see at the moment.
Use your friends and family for support when you feel you can, and try not to bottle it all up. Coming on here and telling us is one way to at least help to do that, sometimes opening up is really hard to do face to face.
Hey CM2010, I am very sorry for your loss.
Not sure if you are a religious person or not, but tonight I would like to include your family in my prayers.
May your parents rest in peace.
I'm very sorry to hear of your losses and the manner in which they occurred. I can't imagine how traumatic such experiences could be.
You obviously were very loyal and tried very hard to help take care of your parents. Even so, you may have thought of some things that you wish you had done better. I did and I still struggle with not beating myself up for them. One thought that helps me stop doing that is acknowledging that my Mother would not want me to dwell on such thought. She would want me to do my best to be happy and make others happy.
I wish you and yours strength and resilience as you morn and recover from the losses. Hang in there. If you allow yourself to morn, you will eventually feel more fondness and gratitude than pain when you think of your folks.
My wife and I went through that (both her parents, about 4 days apart) 5 years ago and it is hard, but let me tell you it definitely will get easier to deal with as time passes. Hang in there.
It’s okay to grieve. Grief is normal and I’d be worried if you didn’t feel it! Don’t hesitate to talk it out with someone whenever you feel the need.
So sorry for your Losses.So close together.You are in my.prayers.
As I was reading this I got a text from my best friend.Cancer took Two siblings .She was just diagnosed with metastatic cancer in the ribs.She is a Breast cancer survivor.
Prayers for you.Barbara my Parents who passed away 2 years apart…Dad on Super Bowl Sunday this year .
All we can do is pray and be grateful for each day and TRY to focus on the memories.
So sorry, CM. I believe there threads around here from 2013 when I lost my aunt to degenerative bone cancer…absolutely horrific. So I do know a of what you were against. I don’t know your age. I know the older you are, the easier it kind of is, but it’s never easy.
I have found that when you suffer a loss and are grieving, service to others can lift you out of the darkness. I feel my best when I am helping someone else and I know it can even help when things get really tough. You have siblings that are going through this too, be there for them and comfort each other. Pray, go outside, and do something good.
About this time last year doctors told us we should not expect our mother to be alive at the end of the year, ( same reason as you ) she are still here, but visiting her it is by no means funny to witness her decay.
She deny a full diagnose or treatment.
I really wish there was some ways i could talk myself out of the responsibilities of a son, but i just cant, yesterday before i left i put her in a new clean adult diaper, pretty borderline for a person that can barely touch another person or deal with being touched by another person, even if she is my mother.
I guess it fall inside the “sometimes you grow up fast” or maybe ” a man gotta do what a man gotta do”
My father are not much better, but my little sister are his primary caretaker, so i get off easy on that one ( parents been divorced a long time )
I am also gearing up for not having any parents by the end of this year, which kinda suck now cuz after i stopped using drugs ( pot ) i seem to have become quite emotional where i my entire life have been a stone on Antarctica during winter cold SOB.
