It might exist, but I was being facetious. The review here would probably be something like:

Weight - A little heavy for EDC, but feels good in your hand
Durability - 0 drop resistance
Tint - not too bad for an old Cree flip chip, only slightly green. Would prefer LH351D/E21/SST-20/SW45k
Output - 700 Lumens on turbo is a bit low, but usable
Thermal Management - gets HOT
Might be interested in a future Platinum version, but wife is still upset from trading the firstborn for this one
Maybe M4DM4X has a coupon…
“probably end up as a shelf queen…”