My wife is going to kill me.

Touchofred · 2018-06-19T17:13:35.000Z

If i spend my hard earned money on a knife or flashlight or whatever, thats up to me to decide. If she don’t like it, it sucks to be her.

But if i spend money on flashlights that is supposed to go to bills and the house. Thats a whole another story. Then i understand if she want to kill me. :smiling_imp:

vt2nv · 2018-06-19T18:10:35.000Z

I’m a New York Jew, which makes it impossible for me to keep a low profile. I wish I could, my big mouth has cost me plenty over the years. Cheers.

pilotdog68:

My wife doesn’t really ask about cost or pay attention at all unless I try to show off to her. So basically I just keep a low profile for a while. I’m in charge of our finances and bills.

Mkduffer · 2018-06-19T19:10:50.000Z

I take charge as the man of the house and politely beg for permission.

Seriously, I have my own slush fund for anything serious. The occasional $10-100 purchase doesn’t upset her much. She’s cool about me having hobbies and needing stuff for work. Now if I leave all that stuff lying around the house, all bets are off.

BrySig228 · 2018-06-19T20:28:39.000Z

It’s easy to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission. buy away and ask for forgiveness

vt2nv · 2018-06-19T20:35:27.000Z

I’ve never heard it expressed more perfectly. I’m going to remember that for the rest of my life. “Man of the house”? I don’t think so

BrySig228:

It’s easy to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission. buy away and ask for forgiveness

stephenk · 2018-06-19T20:49:13.000Z

There are a lot worse things you can do to annoy your wife!

vt2nv · 2018-06-19T21:35:13.000Z

40 years ago I put over 1 million miles on a NYC taxi, which profoundly affects the way I drive today. I no longer live on the east coast. Now my idea of a traffic jam is sitting at a red light.

My wife and I drive to the bay area 2 or 3 times a year to watch our teams play in Oakland. In bay area traffic I slip into my default driving mode. A NYC touch-hole. My wife doesn’t quite grasp that fact that only one person can drive at a time, so she tries to help me by notifying me that we’re about to die in a horrible accident. This occurs about once every three minutes or so. She is a polite, considerate person, which makes her a polite, considerate driver. She could never drive in NYC, LA or the bay area. They would chew her up and spit her out. And she knows it. So I do the driving in all urban congested areas, which she absolutely hates. You want to talk about annoying? I may may annoy her more frequently, but the depths of her annoying me when I’m driving is legendary.

FWIW, we just celebrated our 22nd anniversary, we must be doing something right

stephenk:

There are a lot worse things you can do to annoy your wife!

hehaw77 · 2018-06-19T22:18:07.000Z

I have the best solution of all ” I’m not married” so I can spend on whatever I want to ……lol…… the only restriction sometimes is my conscience telling me hey… couldn’t you do something better with that money… and sometimes I agree…. bummer !

BanglaBob · 2018-06-20T00:53:47.000Z

Couchmaster:

We keep our personal funds separate. For mutual items, electric bill, taxes, new roof etc, we both pitch in to a joint account. It’s been working great now for the last 38 years. If she comes home with a pair of $500 boots, it’s her money and I don’t care. If I come home with a $2500 pistol, or whatever, it’s my money and she doesn’t care. I don’t have to “get away” with anything. It’s my money so she doesn’t need to worry over it and I don’t worry over her funds.

But that’s what we do and it works well. Congrats on the new goodies, if you commingle funds, you might consider a “run away from home fund”. That’s where you stuff a bunch of cash away she doesn’t know about, then if you have goodies to buy or you choose to split up, there’s less pressure.

Makes perfect sense to me…
It’s called “self-preservation”

bushmaster · 2018-06-20T01:16:40.000Z

After 45 years of marriage, we each feel pretty comfortable spending without the other’s permission “within reason”. Aah, there’s the rub, isn’t it?

DavidEF · 2018-06-20T01:28:28.000Z

Mkduffer:

I take charge as the man of the house and politely beg for permission.

HaHaHa! :laughing: :+1:

LeftWing · 2018-06-20T01:39:21.000Z

I told my wife all the flashlights and camping stuff I was buying was for research. I explained that I wanted to get really good at reviewing that gear and develop a following. I told her that I found a website, where once I had a lot of experience as a reviewer, they would give me a free Lamborghini to test out …and that I could keep it just for writing a review, like with a flashlight.

And you know what?
I found out that sleeping on that sofa on the porch really isn’t too bad. :person_facepalming:

TSO · 2018-06-20T01:44:56.000Z

Kinda depends on what your bringing to the table…(as in income).
Our household income is north of 6 figures, but I would never spend over $100 on something without talking with the wife. She would do the same. Its out of respect - she would probably never say, “are you sure that’s a good idea?”, or “wow, that’s a lot of money”…or especially “no!”. Same for me. But its because we have total trust and respect for one another. If she were to one day say, “are you sure that’s a good idea”, I would table the purchase immediately, and we would talk about it.

Dude, finances is the number one destroyer of marriages (30 years a counselor). Get the trust established, get the respect going in spades, and be up front. It will pay off!

That being said - I probably spend $500 a year on “stuff” that is pleasing to me and maybe has little practical purpose. She does the same (Dooney and Burke purses, shoes, etc).
Some things are “toys” but also have practical purpose - tools, yard equipment, house furnishings, cooking stuff (I do most of the cooking). That’s probably another $500 a year.
I’ve tried to live by the formula of “invest/save 20, give away 10-15, and live off of 65-70.“. This spending falls well within that formula, after bills (the personal spending for both of us comes out of the 65.)

So, for a rough estimate, I guess you could say our “hobby spending” is around 1-2% of household income. However, I say again - that spending is done with full knowledge and transparency. 30 years of blissful marriage!

May you divine the proper path!

CNCman · 2018-06-20T02:32:32.000Z

And if all else fails you can get some Massage Oil , this works every time

My Wife has done the bills for 40yrs and I try to get her things she wants and we budget together very well. If you have an item you want and its expensive the put away some $ in a jar and in a short time you will get it, takes discipline. She is unable to work anymore but she has her Quilting hobby and I have a Flashlight hobby and we are very Happy for each other.

Stereodude · 2018-06-20T13:53:44.000Z

No wife now, but when I had one she didn’t complain about my spending and I didn’t complain about hers. We weren’t living paycheck to paycheck and we weren’t out of control with our spending.

jerm03 · 2018-06-20T19:06:22.000Z

Since “the two become one” we want the the other to to be happy, and take priority over “my” wants. We don’t have separate bank accounts and do nothing in secret. It has worked for 64 years so far.
Jerry

hehaw77 · 2018-06-20T19:59:54.000Z

uh huh… prenup for me when its time….

vt2nv · 2018-06-21T18:51:45.000Z

CNCman:

And if all else fails you can get some Massage Oil , this works every time

Hmmm… Why didn’t I think of that?

Perpetual_Lumen · 2018-06-22T10:04:23.000Z

Not to turn this into a “my wife will kill me first” thread but…
I just bought Vinhs Solis(you know the purple/Blue Hypershift DHT) with an additional cerakote x45 handle. On top of that I also purchased a TN42vn90…… yeah

kramer5150 · 2018-06-23T05:09:14.000Z

You realize she’s going to kill you whether you have toys or not… may as well enjoy what you can.
The reality is you were doomed the minute you took a bite of wedding cake.