My wife is going to kill me.

vt2nv · 2018-06-19T15:12:06.000Z

My wife is going kill me. I’ve spent on a bunch of lights, needed a new flash for my camera so I went for a 600EX-RT and I picked up new head for the stereo in my truck. My wife doesn’t get any of this, and that’s bad news for me. I’m ready to pull the trigger on a TN42, but if I do my wife will kill me.

How do you guys get away stuff with this?

Couchmaster · 2018-06-19T15:21:05.000Z

We keep our personal funds separate. For mutual items, electric bill, taxes, new roof etc, we both pitch in to a joint account. It’s been working great now for the last 38 years. If she comes home with a pair of $500 boots, it’s her money and I don’t care. If I come home with a $2500 pistol, or whatever, it’s my money and she doesn’t care. I don’t have to “get away” with anything. It’s my money so she doesn’t need to worry over it and I don’t worry over her funds.

But that’s what we do and it works well. Congrats on the new goodies, if you commingle funds, you might consider a “run away from home fund”. That’s where you stuff a bunch of cash away she doesn’t know about, then if you have goodies to buy or you choose to split up, there’s less pressure.

Speed4goal · 2018-06-19T16:05:13.000Z

I got my wife into flashlights to a extent. She complained at first for awhile. But she does use them every day now and has a couple favorites. Throw one in her vehicle get a small one for her purse. Also I loved to use the line at least I’m not out buying crack. I have something to show for the money. They have resell value. When you get a lot of lights you can sell a couple to get another one you want.

Also if you start modding and building lights. You can show her how cheap it is to build a light. 30 dollars you can build a 2000 linen pocketable light. I also get her stuff. If I spent 40 on a light. Next time there is a little extra funds in the month I’ll give her the 40 dollars. Since I’m the only income. We kinda split the left over money. And I don’t question whatever she spends her money on

If she is one that doesn’t really pay to much attention after you start building lights. If you want to get a expensive light you can just say you built it. 99.9 percent of the time that’s the end of it. Won’t question further you build and mod them all the time. Mtn electronics has a lot of flashlight host, drivers and leds. 20 to 60 to you can build all kinds of lights.

Example c8 host 10 dollars sst40 7 dollars fet driver 8. 2000+ lumen light 30 bucks takes 15 mins to put together

Yourrid · 2018-06-19T16:07:12.000Z

Separate accounts, with one “house” account tied into the mortgage :+1:

My wife and I have only been married for a year so we will see as time goes on. Like Couchmaster said, if she comes home with expensive shoes, I know she spent her money. If I buy a new flashlight, its my money. Bug guy needs to be paid, comes from the house account which we put money in.

vt2nv · 2018-06-19T16:27:40.000Z

My darling wife is used to it, but she still doesn’t get it. She watched me spend $7300 on a lens, and that’s just the beginning. I work as an engineer, I work with high voltage all day, I’ve been passionate about electronics my entire life. My lab is in the spare bedroom. She watched me spend as I bought a Fluke 299C color ScopeMeter, an Agilent mega zoom scope, an Agilent power supply, frequency counters and a whole bunch of other stuff. $1000 on the stereo in her minivan, about the same on the stereo in my truck. I built a FM broadcast station just to do it. I never put it on the air. The challenge was doing it. Very recently my darling wife watched me spend a few hundred on my flashlight collection.

I have no problem spending on the things I’m passionate about. Walk into our home and you’ll see what I’m passionate about. My wife is content going through life without stuff, which makes her unable to understand why I do the things I do. Still, when I spend $$ on stuff she simply doesn’t get it.

My most recent acquisition is the Skilhunt M200. Her first question upon seeing my play with this small, elegant light was how much I spent on it, so I told her. She says “You spent $50 on that?” It was the same when my TC20 arrived.

I appreciate your thoughtful reply. Thank you.

Speed4goal:

I got my wife into flashlights to a extent. She complained at first for awhile. But she does use them every day now and has a couple favorites. Throw one in her vehicle get a small one for her purse. Also I loved to use the line at least I’m not out buying crack. I have something to show for the money. They have resell value. When you get a lot of lights you can sell a couple to get another one you want.

Also if you start modding and building lights. You can show her how cheap it is to build a light. 30 dollars you can build a 2000 linen pocketable light. I also get her stuff. If I spent 40 on a light. Next time there is a little extra funds in the month I’ll give her the 40 dollars. Since I’m the only income. We kinda split the left over money. And I don’t question whatever she spends her money on

If she is one that doesn’t really pay to much attention after you start building lights. If you want to get a expensive light you can just say you built it. 99.9 percent of the time that’s the end of it. Won’t question further you build and mod them all the time. Mtn electronics has a lot of flashlight host, drivers and leds. 20 to 60 to you can build all kinds of lights.

Example c8 host 10 dollars sst40 7 dollars fet driver 8. 2000+ lumen light 30 bucks takes 15 mins to put together

pilotdog68 · 2018-06-19T16:26:54.000Z

My wife doesn’t really ask about cost or pay attention at all unless I try to show off to her. So basically I just keep a low profile for a while. I’m in charge of our finances and bills.

Touchofred · 2018-06-19T17:13:35.000Z

If i spend my hard earned money on a knife or flashlight or whatever, thats up to me to decide. If she don’t like it, it sucks to be her.

But if i spend money on flashlights that is supposed to go to bills and the house. Thats a whole another story. Then i understand if she want to kill me. :smiling_imp:

vt2nv · 2018-06-19T18:10:35.000Z

I’m a New York Jew, which makes it impossible for me to keep a low profile. I wish I could, my big mouth has cost me plenty over the years. Cheers.

pilotdog68:

My wife doesn’t really ask about cost or pay attention at all unless I try to show off to her. So basically I just keep a low profile for a while. I’m in charge of our finances and bills.

Mkduffer · 2018-06-19T19:10:50.000Z

I take charge as the man of the house and politely beg for permission.

Seriously, I have my own slush fund for anything serious. The occasional $10-100 purchase doesn’t upset her much. She’s cool about me having hobbies and needing stuff for work. Now if I leave all that stuff lying around the house, all bets are off.

BrySig228 · 2018-06-19T20:28:39.000Z

It’s easy to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission. buy away and ask for forgiveness

vt2nv · 2018-06-19T20:35:27.000Z

I’ve never heard it expressed more perfectly. I’m going to remember that for the rest of my life. “Man of the house”? I don’t think so

BrySig228:

It’s easy to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission. buy away and ask for forgiveness

stephenk · 2018-06-19T20:49:13.000Z

There are a lot worse things you can do to annoy your wife!

vt2nv · 2018-06-19T21:35:13.000Z

40 years ago I put over 1 million miles on a NYC taxi, which profoundly affects the way I drive today. I no longer live on the east coast. Now my idea of a traffic jam is sitting at a red light.

My wife and I drive to the bay area 2 or 3 times a year to watch our teams play in Oakland. In bay area traffic I slip into my default driving mode. A NYC touch-hole. My wife doesn’t quite grasp that fact that only one person can drive at a time, so she tries to help me by notifying me that we’re about to die in a horrible accident. This occurs about once every three minutes or so. She is a polite, considerate person, which makes her a polite, considerate driver. She could never drive in NYC, LA or the bay area. They would chew her up and spit her out. And she knows it. So I do the driving in all urban congested areas, which she absolutely hates. You want to talk about annoying? I may may annoy her more frequently, but the depths of her annoying me when I’m driving is legendary.

FWIW, we just celebrated our 22nd anniversary, we must be doing something right

stephenk:

There are a lot worse things you can do to annoy your wife!

hehaw77 · 2018-06-19T22:18:07.000Z

I have the best solution of all ” I’m not married” so I can spend on whatever I want to ……lol…… the only restriction sometimes is my conscience telling me hey… couldn’t you do something better with that money… and sometimes I agree…. bummer !

BanglaBob · 2018-06-20T00:53:47.000Z

Couchmaster:

We keep our personal funds separate. For mutual items, electric bill, taxes, new roof etc, we both pitch in to a joint account. It’s been working great now for the last 38 years. If she comes home with a pair of $500 boots, it’s her money and I don’t care. If I come home with a $2500 pistol, or whatever, it’s my money and she doesn’t care. I don’t have to “get away” with anything. It’s my money so she doesn’t need to worry over it and I don’t worry over her funds.

But that’s what we do and it works well. Congrats on the new goodies, if you commingle funds, you might consider a “run away from home fund”. That’s where you stuff a bunch of cash away she doesn’t know about, then if you have goodies to buy or you choose to split up, there’s less pressure.

Makes perfect sense to me…
It’s called “self-preservation”

bushmaster · 2018-06-20T01:16:40.000Z

After 45 years of marriage, we each feel pretty comfortable spending without the other’s permission “within reason”. Aah, there’s the rub, isn’t it?

DavidEF · 2018-06-20T01:28:28.000Z

Mkduffer:

I take charge as the man of the house and politely beg for permission.

HaHaHa! :laughing: :+1:

LeftWing · 2018-06-20T01:39:21.000Z

I told my wife all the flashlights and camping stuff I was buying was for research. I explained that I wanted to get really good at reviewing that gear and develop a following. I told her that I found a website, where once I had a lot of experience as a reviewer, they would give me a free Lamborghini to test out …and that I could keep it just for writing a review, like with a flashlight.

And you know what?
I found out that sleeping on that sofa on the porch really isn’t too bad. :person_facepalming:

TSO · 2018-06-20T01:44:56.000Z

Kinda depends on what your bringing to the table…(as in income).
Our household income is north of 6 figures, but I would never spend over $100 on something without talking with the wife. She would do the same. Its out of respect - she would probably never say, “are you sure that’s a good idea?”, or “wow, that’s a lot of money”…or especially “no!”. Same for me. But its because we have total trust and respect for one another. If she were to one day say, “are you sure that’s a good idea”, I would table the purchase immediately, and we would talk about it.

Dude, finances is the number one destroyer of marriages (30 years a counselor). Get the trust established, get the respect going in spades, and be up front. It will pay off!

That being said - I probably spend $500 a year on “stuff” that is pleasing to me and maybe has little practical purpose. She does the same (Dooney and Burke purses, shoes, etc).
Some things are “toys” but also have practical purpose - tools, yard equipment, house furnishings, cooking stuff (I do most of the cooking). That’s probably another $500 a year.
I’ve tried to live by the formula of “invest/save 20, give away 10-15, and live off of 65-70.“. This spending falls well within that formula, after bills (the personal spending for both of us comes out of the 65.)

So, for a rough estimate, I guess you could say our “hobby spending” is around 1-2% of household income. However, I say again - that spending is done with full knowledge and transparency. 30 years of blissful marriage!

May you divine the proper path!

CNCman · 2018-06-20T02:32:32.000Z

And if all else fails you can get some Massage Oil , this works every time

My Wife has done the bills for 40yrs and I try to get her things she wants and we budget together very well. If you have an item you want and its expensive the put away some $ in a jar and in a short time you will get it, takes discipline. She is unable to work anymore but she has her Quilting hobby and I have a Flashlight hobby and we are very Happy for each other.