Off-the-wall, poorly-translated instructions

slmjim · 2019-02-18T13:08:38.000Z

We've all seen them. The instructions in owner's manuals or other service documentation that almost always makes sense.

But sometimes not.

Or, the meaning is so vague that much intellectual energy must be expended in an attempt to ascertain the meaning the author was trying to convey, filtered through a translation from an individual whose native language is, obviously, not the same one as that of the reader.

The photocopiers, printers & MFP's I spent my career around were almost always sourced from Japanese manufacturers. Even as recently as the mid 2000's we were still seeing amusing translations. Two of my word-for-word favorites are:

1) From a Toshiba analog copier service manual, circa early 1980's - "All parts of the unit are either inside or outside the unit".

Indeed .

2) From a Kyocera color printer service manual, circa 2003 - "Before removing the LED print head, sufficiently do to let escape the static electricity which is electrified in the human body concerning the metal part and the like of the aqueduct faucet, after that do that work".

Ummm... OK. Whatever you say there, Sparky.

What comical translations have you seen in documentation?

slmjim

Rdubya18 · 2019-02-18T13:18:01.000Z

Please enjoying flashlight fun’s .

Mike_C · 2019-02-18T13:43:00.000Z

Supfire L5-S had a weird one on sales website, unfortunately they’ve removed it.
“Rear pillar design big drum, and put an end to skip files happening better compatibility pointed flag battery”

lichan · 2019-02-18T13:54:58.000Z

This is from the description of a Fitbit Flex replacement band on Amazon:

Stainless Steel Watchband For Fitbit Flex
wristbands for events wristband men gymnastics sweat fitbit charge kids wallet magnetic motion sickness static one blaze keychain alta alarm clock screws phone holder headphones playbook parties count
sea event seasick tyvek paper vip red colored pink plastic disposable leather nike silicone rubber gym basketball fashion power inch grips girls black double wide purple sweatbands numbered navy white hr blue
superhero john sports wallets women bracelet holding tools with strong magnets nails premium tool magnogrip 311-090 adult child adjustable pregnancy toddler accupressure electric 38mm
apple watch band 42mm clasp cover 12mm watchband adapters adjuster adjustment amazfit and cutter compass thermometer hardware hole punch horween hugo boss ladies 16mm 18mm men’s 22mm link pins removal remover loop replacement samsung gear s2 s3 classic frontier

Jack_Kellar · 2019-02-19T11:07:54.000Z

lichan:

This is from the description of a Fitbit Flex replacement band on Amazon:

Stainless Steel Watchband For Fitbit Flex
wristbands for events wristband men gymnastics sweat fitbit charge kids wallet magnetic motion sickness static one blaze keychain alta alarm clock screws phone holder headphones playbook parties count
sea event seasick tyvek paper vip red colored pink plastic disposable leather nike silicone rubber gym basketball fashion power inch grips girls black double wide purple sweatbands numbered navy white hr blue
superhero john sports wallets women bracelet holding tools with strong magnets nails premium tool magnogrip 311-090 adult child adjustable pregnancy toddler accupressure electric 38mm
apple watch band 42mm clasp cover 12mm watchband adapters adjuster adjustment amazfit and cutter compass thermometer hardware hole punch horween hugo boss ladies 16mm 18mm men’s 22mm link pins removal remover loop replacement samsung gear s2 s3 classic frontier

That is a lot of nouns :-U

derfyled · 2019-02-19T14:14:46.000Z

On my new snowblower

‘’Not for indoor use’’

teacher · 2019-02-19T15:14:47.000Z

This one is not to bad, but still kinda funny. It is a portion of the Lumintop ZOOM 1 description on Banggood.

“Durable aluminium alloy crust, avoid damage when it drops off the ground.”
“Life waterproof design, skid-proof and abrasion resistant.”

“Adjustable focus range for different usage, stretching to adjust its focus.”

It seems this light has a “crust”, it “drops off the ground”, it is “Life waterproof”, and it “stretches”.

I guess the push/pull zoom is “stretching”.

Keisari · 2019-02-19T21:02:37.000Z

There was a bluetooth mini keyboard/trackpad controller being sold on dx.com or a similar China retailer. In product photos the retail box said “the instructor must have the best weapon”. That is sort of intelligible when you think about it but somehow sounds more like martial arts stuff than powerpoint fighting, to me at least.

RobertB · 2019-02-19T21:34:01.000Z

New Kawai Pianos sold at a music store I used to work at. Grand pianos arrived in large wood crates. The writing on the protection paper weaved through the strings said, “paper is designed to keep strings off of rust”