Ok guys. I'm no electronics wizard when it comes to solid state stuff so this has me very very confused. Here, look at this picture, it is exactly as simple as it looks:
That's it. That is an old junk LED, two cr123s, battery box, some wire, and some thing apparently called an "AOD436 N-Channel Enhancement Mode Field Effect Transistor." LED+ to BAT+, LED- to AO436 drain, AO436 source to BAT-. Can it get any simpler?
When the switch on the side of the box is turned on, nothing happens (duh). If I jumper from BAT+ to AO436 gate, LED turns on full brightness. And stays on after the jumper is removed (what?). Shorting the gate pin to the source pin turns the LED off, stays off until I... lightly brush the gate pin with my bare finger, making no other connections to anything else anywhere, and the LED smoothly ramps up to a low level and stays there. Touch the gate again and it ramps up some more. Hold the gate pin firmly and it ramps to full brightness and stays there after I let go. If I touch gate and source with my finger, it turns off.
So anyway, maybe this is completely normal expected behavior from this kind of circuit and if I knew half as much about silicon as I do about wires and relays this would all be completely ho-hum and mundane and no big deal, "that's just how they work, what do you mean everybody doesn't know that already?" kind of thing.
I think I'll go lie down for a little nap, I'm feeling kinda lightheaded. (current state of mind: :Sp + :party: + :love: )
Oh, and while I'm gone, somebody tell me how to get this kind of ramping/on/off control in a frickin' flashlight.