2141

Can’t imagine the time it took to “ file “ those screws ! :person_facepalming:

2142

Here’s another, this one is on me.

A friend and customer brought in his sons laptop that was dead.
No video, no post, no lights.
Plugging in the charger made no difference.

Can you do anything?
Well not sure what’s going on, but the data is probably still intact on the HD unless something killed it too.

Took it apart, pulled the drive – it was fine – copied the data onto a big flash drive.
Then started trouble shooting.

First thing is the power supply, 19.5v, everything happy there.
Second thing to check – battery – yep, no angry pixies stored inside.
Next up is the power connector. No broken wires, everything looked good. Continuity check across was fine.

Plugged in the power supply and the angry pixies were making into the system.
Pushed the power button, and on it came.

Me ??

Well if it works, it works.
Put it back together again, and this was one of those laptops that needed the secret handshake to open, and…
Nada, dead as a hammer.

Me, ??

Took it apart again and made sure I didn’t pinch any wires Etc. And…
It POSTs just fine.
Pulled the MB (a total pain in the ass) to make sure there was continuity at the other end of the connection chain.
Everything looked just fine.

Put it back together And….
Nada!!!

Me, ?

Now I’m like 2.5Hrs into this thing and am plenty pissed.

Took to pieces again. This time I really started fussing around with stuff, And…
The ground wire pops off of the charge port connection.
The solder joint was nice and shiny. The wire side looked “wet”.

So I fired up the old Weller and stuck’her back on there.
Put it all together – AGAIN – And…

Everything worked just as expected.

This cold joint had worked for like 6 years and decided to get flaky at this point in it’s life.
Taking the thing apart changed the stress on the connection just enough to make it happy again.

So, How much time to I charge for something like this?
The full 3+ hours or???

The laptop was so old he decided it was time to get his son a new one.
I charged him an hour for the data recovery and he left the old laptop behind in trade for the rest of the labor.
I came out behind on the deal.
I used the laptop for a few years controlling some lights at home until I passed it on to a HAM friend to do some mysterious HAM related mojo.
Computers often refute the saying “Keep repeating the same process and expecting a different result - is a sign of madness”
All the Best,
Jeff

2143

An elderly couple is lying in bed one morning, having just awakened from a good night’s sleep.
He takes her hand, and she responds, “Don’t touch me.”
“Why not?” he asks.

She answers back, “Because I’m dead.”
The husband says, “What are you talking about? We’re both lying here in bed together and talking to one another.”

She says, “No, I’m definitely dead.”
He insists, “You’re not dead. What in the world makes you think you’re dead?”

“Because I woke up this morning and nothing hurts.”

I can relate to this at my age…
All the best,
Jeff

2144

Short takes…
Right click is not the same a Write click.

Dog pee inside a computer is NOT covered by warranty!

Slurpee dripping out of a keyboard is not covered by warranty.

Covering a laptop with a pillow to make the fan quieter. Then it overheats and dies is not covered by warranty.

There once was a user in town that each and every tech was familiar with.
And feared by all…
Nobody remembers his real name. We knew him by the code name:
“No Bath”
There are some things you just can’t un-smell…

There was another we called “Crazy Joe” He could F-Up a rock.
Once I was in his PC and sparks started popping from the bottom of a hard drive.
It was just sitting in a drive cage and the cage ribs would hit the HDs circuit board.
“What’s with this?”
“That’s just how I roll!”
Me – OK……

Got a rather nice Dell tower in for data recovery. Client says I don’t want it anymore. It keeps freezing up on me and I’m sick of screwing with it so I pitched it.

He really pitched it. As in out the window and down the driveway.
I never had to use a hammer and pry-bar to open a case before.

Press any key… But there is no “ANY” key. On the keyboard.
BUT they never say press any key except the Ctrl or Alt key.

Never assume a client on the phone is right handed.

Client’s system is hanging when connected via 56K modem and the kids are trying to send her about 50 full sized images from their new digital camera.

Did you know that if you hook a UPS up to itself that it will act in a manor unbecoming to an electronic device? Quite exciting.

If one outlet in an office is wired backward (hot to neutral). Equipment plugged into a correctly wired outlet and connected to the same hardware will act in a manor becoming to an electric device?
And also shock the hell out of me while I’m crawling around under a desk in a snake pit of wires trying to figure out what the hell is going on.

All the Best,
Jeff

2145

A businessman was in Austin for a work trip and decided to have dinner at the hotel steakhouse.
He ordered a beer, and when it arrived the mug was larger than his head.
“Hey,” said the waitress, “everything comes big in Texas.”
He ordered a salad, and it came in a punch bowl.
“Hey,” she repeated, “everything comes big in Texas.”
He ordered a steak, and it took three servers to carry it to his table.
“Hey …” “Yeah, yeah, I know, everything comes big in Texas.”

When he asked the waitress for directions to the restroom, she told him to go through the lobby and it was the second door on the left.
He misunderstood, accidentally took the third door and in the darkened room walked right into the indoor swimming pool.
As he thrashed in the water, he screamed to whoever could hear him,
“Don’t flush it!”

All the Best,
Jeff

2146

Source - Being Buried In Your Mortgage

2147

A young man excitedly tells his mother he’s fallen in love and that he is going to get married.
He says, “Just for fun, Ma, I’m going to bring over 3 girls and you try and guess which one I’m going to marry.”
The mother agrees.

The next day, he brings three women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says, “Okay Ma, guess which one I’m going to marry.”

She immediately replies, “The one on the right.”
“That’s amazing, Ma. You’re right. How did you know?”

The mother replies, “I don’t like her.”
All the Best,
Jeff

2148

A king carried environmentalism too far when he prohibited hunting of any kind.
Soon the realm was overrun with lions and tigers and bears.
“Oh My!” shouted the people.
They revolted and threw the king out of the country.
It was the first time the reign was called because of the game.

2149

That reminds me of something that happened to me on the way home from an on sight stint at a customer years ago. Also the plot of a Seinfeld episode;-)

Worked the usual long after business hours for about a week and then headed home. About half way into a very long drive home (about a 12 hr drive), I was struggling mightily to stay awake. Then, it was almost like an angel appeared, there was a hitchhiker on the entrance ramp! My staying awake problems were over. When he got in the car I realized I would not only have conversation but an incredible stench that was guaranteed to keep me awake! He was with me for just maybe 2 or 3 hours. Certainly kept me awake and probably saved my life. However, the car stench was unbelievable. I vacuumed and foam cleaned the interior at least twice. Left the windows down at night to air it out etc. It was MONTHS before I got the smell out of that car!

2150

well, now i will have to find some hitchhiker jokes.

in the mean time, thanks to: how-crazy-is-this for
reminding me of my hitch-hiking days and nights.
never had any problems. all good times.

2151

Nice one, jeff51!

2152

An Elderly couple was celebrating their 60th anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired.
Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they’d shared where Andy had carved ‘I love you, Sally.’

On their way back home a bag of money fell out of an armored car practically landing at their feet.
Sally quickly picked it up, but not sure what to do with it, they took it home.
There, she counted the money: fifty-thousand dollars!

Andy said, “We’ve got to give it back,”
Sally said, “Finders keepers.”

So she put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.
The next day, two FBI men were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money and knocked on the door.
“Pardon me, but did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday?”

Sally said, “No.”
Andy said, “She’s lying. She hid it up in the attic.”
Sally said, “Don’t believe him, he’s getting senile.”

The agents turn to Andy and began to question him. One says,
“Tell us the story from the beginning.”
Andy said, “Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday…”

The first FBI guy turns to his partner and says, “We’re outta here….”

All the Best,
Jeff

2153

Jeff , your jokes always give me a good laugh ! Thanks .

2154

Me too. Keep them coming!

2155

Not one of mine, but a good one…

Client calls up and says:
My computer is telling me I need to get a pet snake!

Tech
Err, ahh, tell me more.

Client
The computer is giving me a message telling me I need a snake to run your software.

Tech:
Read the message to me please.

Error: Python required to run the script.

All the Best,
Jeff

2156

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, just like my grandfather...

not screaming in terror like his 88 passengers

---Jack Handey

2157

2158

Hmm, not sure what that was, but it reminded me of…

There once was a man from Great Britain… (it’s clean I promise!)
Interrupted 3 ladies at their knittin…
He said with a sigh…
That park bench, well I…
…
…
Just painted it, right where yer sittin!

2159

A girl came skipping home from school one day.
“Mommy, Mommy,” she yelled, “we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!”
“Very good,” said her mother.
“Is it because I’m blonde?” the girl said.
“Yes, it’s because you’re blonde,” said the mommy….

The next day the girl came skipping home from school. “Mommy, Mommy,” she yelled, “we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!”
“Very good,” said her mother.
“Is it because I’m blonde, Mommy?”
“Yes, it’s because you’re blonde.”

The next day the girl came skipping home from school. Mommy, Mommy,” she yelled, “we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!” And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.
“Very good,” said her embarrassed mother.
“Is it because I’m blonde, mommy?”
“No Honey, it’s because you’re 24

All the Best,
Jeff

2160

A Guy Takes His Girlfriend To Her First Football Game.
They had great seats right behind their team’s bench.
After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.
“Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles,
but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.”
Dumbfounded, her date asked, “What do you mean?”
“Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game,
all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’
I’m like, hello? It’s only 25 cents!”