The Daily Joke Thread ⚠️ (keep it clean please) ⚠️

[1stein]

@Boaz

YouTube_OBlgSz8sSM

12 years ago 

Great toddlers and great movie. The older one is very understanding towards the younger.

[raccoon]

[raccoon]

Inbox

Rome's declaration of war against Carthage was sent from a no-reply address, so Hannibal had to cross the Alps to deliver his "UNSUBSCRIBE" response in person.

[Bort (BortyMcBortface)]

Might be a repost

[1stein]

Seen today:

BRA vs BAR?
The same letters and for both men are waiting eagerly to open…

[Nev]

What’s green & pear shaped ?

[Nev]

A pear.

[xevious (Gary)]

A co-worker got sick and tired of people asking him where Ed is. So, he got creative.

LINK

[Lightbringer]

Funny, but when a cow-orker and I were sitting right outside the boss’s office, people treated us (mainly him, ’cause he was right outside her door) like the receptionist or secretary.

"Do you know where X is?"

"Can you tell X to call me when she gets back?"

"Do you know when X will be back?"

ad nauseam.

He made up a rather large poster, listing things like

No, I don't know where X is.

I have no idea when X will be back.

Sorry, I can't take messages for X.

and on, and on, a full page’s worth.

X thought it was funny, but “coincidentally” a week or two later when the COO stopped by, the COO read it, got a chuckle, but it was taken down within hours.

[xevious (Gary)]

@Lightbringer

Funny, but when a cow-orker and I were sitting right outside the boss’s office, people treated us (mainly him, ’cause he was right outside her door) like the receptionist or secretary.

"Do you know where X is?"

"Can you tell X to call me when she gets back?"

"Do you know when X will be back?"

ad nauseam.

He made up a rather large poster, listing things like

No, I don't know where X is.

I have no idea when X will be back.

Sorry, I can't take messages for X.

and on, and on, a full page’s worth.

X thought it was funny, but “coincidentally” a week or two later when the COO stopped by, the COO read it, got a chuckle, but it was taken down within hours.

Funny how close that scenario is to the original one. XO staff with no humor… not a fun place to work.

[raccoon]

Geologic Time

"Ok, well, we'll be sure to pay you sometime soon, geologically speaking."

[tempo]

one big difference between men and women is that
if a woman says “Smell this!”
it usually smells nice

[Henk4U2]

Two old men are sitting on a bench in the park.

A: My youngest grand daughter told me she has a new job.
B: Nice, where is it?
A: In a message parlor.
B: And does it make good money?
A: Depends on how the message is delevered, by hand or by mouth.
B: Ah, a Sing-A-Gram.

[raccoon]

I saw this on gamefaqs.gamespot.com today...

I thought it was pretty ingenious.

[grin]

Went to the local zoo today, they only had 1 dog.
It was a Shih Tzu

[firedome]

Dyslexic man walks into a bra.

[Lightbringer]

Old man goes to his doctor…

“Doc, I got a problem. Every morning I have a bowel movement at 6:30, just like clockwork.”

Doc asks, “Hm? Why’s that a problem?”.

Old guy replies, “I don’t get out of bed ’til 8.”.

[Rexlion]

@Lightbringer

Old man goes to his doctor…

“Doc, I got a problem. Every morning I have a bowel movement at 6:30, just like clockwork.”

Doc asks, “Hm? Why’s that a problem?”.

Old guy replies, “I don’t get out of bed ’til 8.”.

That one belongs in the same place as the shih tzu….

[DavidEF]

@raccoon city

I saw this on gamefaqs.gamespot.com today...

I thought it was pretty ingenious.

You should make this a poll here at BLF, so we can see which poll answer is most popular among flashaholics.

[raccoon]

Nice To E-Meet You

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