A cowboy walks into a seedy cafe in Saratoga, Wyoming. He sits at the counter and notices an old cowboy with his arms folded staring blankly at a full bowl of chili.
After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young cowboy bravely asks the old cowpoke, ‘If you ain’t gonna eat that, mind if I do?
The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in his best cowboy manner says, ‘Nah, you go ahead.’
Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to his place and starts spooning it in with delight. He gets nearly down to the bottom and notices a dead mouse in the chili.
The sight was very shocking and he immediately barfs up the chili back into the bowl.
The old cowboy quietly says, ‘Yep, that’s as far as I got, too…”
Good one raccoon city!
” These Jobseekers Have A Lot Of Ketchup To Do
“:Working Stories - Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com
(A young man comes in looking to apply for a job. He asks for an application, which is given to him.)
Man: “Can I get a pen, too?”
(My manager does not like to accept applications from people who can’t be bothered to be prepared for a simple application. We are also located next to a dollar store that sells pens for under a dollar.)
Manager: “Yes. Just wait one moment. We are extremely busy right now.”
(We carry out business and have very little intention to get the man a pen from the back.)
Man: (after standing next to the register for another 15 minutes) “Oh, my god!”
(He went over to the condiment section, squeezed a massive amount of ketchup into the spill tray, grabbed a fork, and then proceeded to fill in the application with ketchup. Needless to say, we did not hire him.)
A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, “Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late! Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late!” As she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again. As she ran she once again began to pray, “Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late… But please don’t shove me either!”
I found out last week that I had slept with my third cousin….
She was way more fun in bed than the first two…
no (IMHO!) the combination of the pic and those nasty flashy creepy sig pics, sorry not funny 
Hey, I resemble that remark! 
Have you heard about the Dalek Egg timer ?
After 3 minutes it goes…
Eggs Terminate!
Bad boys, bad boys
Whatcha gonna do?
Whatcha gonna do when you have no rude?
Negative 2 rudeness?
Yeah, months ago I had -1 rudeness, and it eventually disappeared.
Now I have -2.
I have no idea why.
Now I'm going to destroy any credibility I had by posting a doctored screenshot...
… Looks like the T-virus is striking again…
Maybe try African Elephant - bigger ears
One which young folks may not understand. Go ask your Mom if this is you 
_Bag boys, Bag boys, what they gonna do?
Take your food to the car for you…
_
And some fun on YouTube:
Best Fidget Spinner Trick Ever
Phil
That’s the best trick I have ever seen with a Fidget :+1:
What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?
Phillipe Phillope.
Hi it seems that the joke sources are completely empty lol