There are 10 kinds of people in this world:
Those who understand binary, and those who don’t.
There are two kinds of people in this world:
Those who classify people into 2 groups, and those who don’t.
There are two kinds of people in this world:
Those who can extrapolate from insufficient data.
This made my day!
I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort
Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed
Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn’t mean the circus has left town
Whenever you leave behind failure, you’re doing good. If you think everything you’ve done is great, you’re probably dumb
There is a huge difference between a dog that is going to eat you in your mind and an actual dog that’s going to eat you
You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it
Take your risks now, as you grow older you become more fearful and less flexible. And I mean that literally. I hurt my knee this week on the treadmill, and it wasn’t even on
Try reading this funny comedian quotes! really made my day!
Well it looks like I’ve completely misunderstood a famous joke for many many years.
Question: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Answer: To get to the other side!
Haha, that is just sooo funny!
Yeah, I just realised it’s a suicide joke.
There’s nothing like the joy on a kid’s face when he first sees the PlayStation box containing the socks I got him for Christmas.
The 3 stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus. He doesn’t believe in Santa Claus. He is Santa Claus.
“With God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!”
Well… you have Turkey Airlines. 
’pends on where you are, I guess.
butt, our local turkeys can outfly steelshot over 30 yards
(or that’s my excuse)
Okay, why’d I think that would land? (No pun intended.)
Looks like crappy “recorded it with a videocam offa my teevee” quality, but it’s all I could find offhand.
Figured at least BLFer herbtarlek would get it. 
Anyhoo, enjoy!
I’d be in bad shape if I had a screw loose, but conversely if all 6 of my screws were loose I’d really be screwed!
(you know, the whole ti plate holding my neck together thing? 6 ti screws? just tried to take a bezel off a light, seems to be glued, strained, feels like I popped a rivet…funny how much of a wuss I am after surgery, in a not-funny kind of way)
When i saw the daily joke thread up near the top of the list on the front page,i have to admit I had a little moment of pride . then I looked down and …
I spotted a thread clone.
- You dont love me anymore! You were always with fresh flowers the last year, every day, lately you bring me nothing!
a single wing never lets a bird fly
But a bird with a single wing on dope will always be high.
of course, if you could provide marijuana and know that how to force that bird in order to use it
Why did the chicken cross the road ?
he knew that by doing so it would make others question his motives thereby increasing his noteriety thus making him famous .
or possibly he was just going to church .
- which may have started the whole Church’s famous fried chicken
maybe he just had a death wish
… Becasue Racecar
What did Jesus say immediately after exiting his tomb?
"April Fool's!" 
That one is a variable star which pulses every 30 seconds. Its name comes from a Greek word meaning "smoke alarm."