I totally agree with you: Sturgeon’s law also holds true for flashlights. The horror! The horror!
However: if something/somebody is smart, simple, or stupid: who am I to judge?
Such perceived qualities are relative to context.
Most of the flashlight muggles that I personally know, are absolutely not stupid, they just have other priorities than most flashaholics.
Personally, I have no clue at all what “regular people” would prefer as user interface for a flashlight.
I know what I like in flashlight design, but how to design for people who are very differently?
I am not sure if in this thread by now consensus is reached about the actual target audience(s) of a resurrected Duracell Durabeam.
Nonetheless, some suggestions for designing flashlights for non-flashaholics.
Suggestion 1: Test with users
If the target audience for this light is non-flasholics then test a prototype with actual non-flashaholic people as users.
The people can be anyone: family members, friends, neighbours, random people in the street, colleagues.
Let people test the user interface, the ergonomics, the beam.
Let them try to turn it on, and off, or change modes.
Let them try to change the batteries, and let them put in the batteries backwards.
Let them drop the light on the ground. :person_facepalming:
Let them rejoice in high-cri goodness.
Let them stare into the flashlight while they turn it on. :innocent:
Observe how they respond to the flashlight.
Ask them what they think of it.
And what could be improved.
Even better, let them actually use it for a while; and then let them report back.
Or let them film their actual use themselves; watch it back together with them, and discuss what you saw.
Aim for maximum diversity of people included from as many categories as possible: young children, teenagers, non-technical people, workmen, elderly people, disabled people, people who fear technology, gadget lovers. Perhaps even include flashaholics
User testing results in better designs.
Users are not stupid, even if they have other priorities or perspectives.
As Alay Kay stated: “A change of perspective is worth 80 IQ points.”
Suggestion 2: Iterative design
Learn from your mistakes.
Try to make the best, and then test.
And then aim to improve useability.
In the words of Jakob Nielsen, make stuff that is:
Suggestion 3: Cute design
Give the design character, so people can establish a connection with it.
Flashaholics attach to flashlights in different ways than non-flashaholics.
Make it look cute, friendly, fun.
Make the body white, yellow, or hi-viz orange.
Give it a face, literally.
Make it look non-technical.
Just my two cents.