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8steve88
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F*ck ‘em if they can’t take a joke.

One of my favourite T shirts – FCK the only thing missing is U

steve-o
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“There’s only one shade of green !!”

— My Stepdad while sitting in traffic, behind a person still stopped long after the traffic light in front of him had turned from red to green.

ryan wolff
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“Being neither jealous nor greedy, being without desires, and remaining the same under all circumstances, this is nobility.”
My motto.

trooplewis
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Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.

Murphy.

 

Murphy was an optimist

Smith.

Rats, finally sold my 2010 509hp Mustang...now I can buy more lights!

Sold the red one too! Now guess what I drive, doing my penance for 500 hp commuters...

http://dreammustang.com/

http://i884.photobucket.com/albums/ac47/Ha

Bort
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Another trending quote

You don’t win friends with salad
Homer Simpson

The Journal of Alternative Facts TM

"It is critical that there is a credible academic source for the growing and important discipline of alternative facts. This field of study will just keep winning, and we knew that all the best people would want to be on board. There is a real risk in the world today that people might be getting their information about science from actual scientists"

 

Boaz
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Location: Birthplace of Aviation
  • Afrikaans: Hansie-my-kneg ("Man of all work")
  • Arabic language:
    • Najdi Arabic: صاحب الصنعتين كذاب ("The one who knows two trades is a liar")
    • Egyptian Arabic: سبع صنايع والبخت ضايع ("The one who knows seven trades but is so unlucky")
    • Syrian Arabic: مسبع الكارات ("rolling stone gathers")
  • Bengali: সকল কাজের কাজী
  • Chinese:
    • Mandarin (Simplified): 门门懂,样样瘟 (Traditional): 樣樣通,樣樣鬆 ("All trades known, all trades dull")
    • Mandarin (Simplified): 万金油 - The "10,000 gold oil", also the name of Tiger Balm, can be used to refer to someone who meets this description[8]
    • Mandarin (Simplified): 萬事通 ("He, who knows Ten Thousand Things")
    • Shanghainese (Simplified): 三脚猫 ("A cat with only 3 legs")
    • Cantonese: 周身刀,無張利 ("Equipped with knives all over, yet none is sharp")
  • Croatian: Katica za sve ("Kate for everything")
  • Czech: Devatero řemesel, desátá bída. ("Nine crafts, tenth is misery")
  • Dutch: Manusje-van-alles ("Man-of-all"), usually meant positively. Also: Handige Harry ("Handy Harry"), 12 ambachten, 13 ongelukken ("12 trades, 13 accidents").
  • Esperanto: Kiu ĉasas du leporojn, kaptas neniun. ("Who chases two jackrabbits catches none")[9]
  • Estonian: Üheksa ametit, kümnes nälg ("Nine trades, the tenth one — hunger").
  • Finnish: Jokapaikanhöylä ("Plane for all purposes"). Usually a compliment, but sometimes implies irony: a tool designed for all purposes is not really good for any specific purposes.
  • French: Homme-à-tout-faire ("Do-all man" but the meaning is now used more for the job of 'handy-man' than for anything else), Touche-à-tout ("Touch everything"), Qui trop embrasse, mal étreint ("he who embraces too much, has a weak grasp"), Avoir plusieurs cordes à son arc (To have many strings to one's bow), Avoir plusieurs casquettes ("To have many caps"). Occasionally the expression Maître Jacques (literally "Master Jack") is used.
  • German: Ein Multitalent kann Vieles, aber nichts richtig ("A multi-talent knows much, but nothing properly"). Also the older figure Hansdampf in allen Gassen (literally: "Jack Steam in every alley", with "Hans Dampf" being a personal name) exists.
  • Greek: Πολυτεχνίτης και ερημοσπίτης ("A man of many crafts and a deserted home"). The empty house – without a spouse and children – implies poverty and lack of prosperity.
  • Hebrew: תפסת מרובה לא תפסת (short) or תפסת מרובה לא תפסת - תפסת מועט תפסת (full) ("He who has seized a lot, has not seized" (short) or "He who has seized a lot, has not seized — He who has seized little, seized").
  • Hungarian: Aki sokat markol, keveset fog ("He who grasps much, retains but little"). Ezermester ("master (of a) thousand (things)").
  • Icelandic: Þúsundþjalasmiður ("A craftsman of a thousand rasps").
  • Italian: Esperto di tutto, maestro in niente ("Expert of everything, master of none").
  • Japanese: 多芸は無芸 ("Many talents is no talent")
  • Korean: 열 두 가지 재주 가진 놈이 저녁거리가 없다 ("A man of twelve talents has nothing to eat for dinner")
  • Lithuanian: Devyni amatai, dešimtas – badas ("When you have nine trades, then your tenth one is famine/starvation"). There is also Barbė šimtadarbė ("Barbie with hundred professions"). Visų krūmų neapšiksi ("It's impossible to shit in every bush").
  • Malay: Yang dikejar tak dapat, yang dikendong berciciran ("The pursued is not acquired, the held is dropped")
  • Persian: همه کاره و هیچ کاره ("All trades and no trades")
  • Polish: Siedem fachów, ósma bieda ("Seven trades, the eighth one — poverty"), Złota rączka ("Handyman"), człowiek orkiestra ("One man band").
  • Portuguese: Pau pra toda obra ("Wood for any building"); João-Faz-Tudo ("john-handyman"); Homem dos sete ofícios ("man of seven trades")
  • Romanian: Bun la toate și la nimic ("Good at everything and at nothing")
  • Russian: Специалист широкого профиля ("Specialist in wide range") — being an oxymoron widely used with irony, though some people use it in positive sense. Мастер на все руки ("Master in all hands"). Used only as a term of praise. За десять дел возьмется, ни одно не закончит ("Starts ten things, finishes none"). К каждой бочке затычка ("A peg for every barrel") — someone who wants to participate in every deal. И швец, и жнец, и на дуде игрец ("Can sew, mow and play the flute") — the most ironical description.
  • Spanish:
    • Chile: Maestro Chasquilla ("Fringe Master")
    • Spain, Argentina, Mexico, Uruguay, Colombia: Quien mucho abarca poco aprieta ("He who embraces too much, has a weak grasp")
    • Spain, Colombia: Aprendiz de mucho, maestro de nada ("Apprentice of a lot, master of nothing")
    • Spain: Maestro Liendre, que de todo sabe y de nada entiende. ("Knows about everything but understands nothing")
    • Spain: Aprendiz de todo, maestro de nada. ("Apprentice of everything, master of nothing")
    • Spain: Un océano de conocimiento de una pulgada de profundidad ("An ocean of knowledge of an inch deep")
    • Mexico: A todo le tiras, y a nada le pegas ("You aim for everything, but you hit nothing") Chambitas ("Little jobs") Mil usos ("One thousand jobs")
  • Sinhala: සියල්ල දත් කිසිත් නොදත්, pronounced as "Siyalla dath, Kisith nodath".("Knows everything yet, doesn't know anything.")
  • Zimbabwe:"mbeva zhinji hadzina mashe" ("too many cooks spoil the broth")[10]
  • Swedish: Mångsysslare ("Multi tasker") Tusenkonstnär ("thousand tasks artist")
  • Tagalog: Marunong sa lahat, magaling sa wala ("Knows everything, masters none")
  • Tamil: பல தொழில் கற்றவன் ஒரு தொழிலும் செய்யான் ("A man who knew so many businesses but thinks for ever to choose which one to master")
  • Thai: รู้อย่างเป็ด ("Know like duck")
  • Turkish: Her şeyin ehli, hiçbir şeyin ustası. ("competent in all, master in none.").
  • Urdu : "Har fann moula" (literally speaking --- Har : Every, fann : talent, moula : lord). Also commonly used in Hindi sentences/phrases.
  • Vietnamese: Một nghề cho chín, còn hơn chín nghề ("Being master in one job is better than being average in nine jobs")

καὶ τὸ φῶς ἐν τῇ σκοτίᾳ φαίνει καὶ ἡ σκοτία αὐτὸ οὐ κατέλαβεν

rojos
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Also, Johannes fac totum, used in Elizabethan English, has since fallen out of favor. Famous for being used as an insult against Shakespeare by his contemporary Robert Greene. Shakespeare was an actor before becoming a playwright, and Greene considered him an upstart and a Johnny do-it-all, not a true writer.

WarHawk-AVG
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*click click* pistol pressed to forehead

You die first, get it? Your friends might get me in a rush, but not before I make your head into a canoe, you understand me? - Wyatt Earp

Rufusbduck
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George Santayana:

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.

Fanaticism consists of redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim.

Slim Pickens:

Ditto.

Three Tanna leaves to give him life, nine to give him movement. But what if he eats the whole bag?

Scott

Mike C
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“Because I have loved life, I shall have no sorrow to die” – Amelia Josephine Burr

“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall” – Confucius

“It’s the real deal Neal, it ain’t no wack-o-tack!” – Some old 70s movie. I don’t remember it’s name, actors or anything, only this phrase… it simply stuck Smile

“And millions of small slimy things crawled on and on and on… and so did I” – Unknown. A signature I read a long time ago.

Bort
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Its over 9000!!!!

The Journal of Alternative Facts TM

"It is critical that there is a credible academic source for the growing and important discipline of alternative facts. This field of study will just keep winning, and we knew that all the best people would want to be on board. There is a real risk in the world today that people might be getting their information about science from actual scientists"

 

raccoon city
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Bort wrote:
Its over 9000!!!!

over_9000_kreisler

Dimbo The Blinky
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Rufusbduck wrote:
Slim Pickens:

Ditto.

‘Scuse me while I whip dis out…

“There is no darkness but ignorance.”

Bort
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I’m afraid the fault dear Tain, is not in our stars but in ourselves, something I learned from Dr Bashir

The Journal of Alternative Facts TM

"It is critical that there is a credible academic source for the growing and important discipline of alternative facts. This field of study will just keep winning, and we knew that all the best people would want to be on board. There is a real risk in the world today that people might be getting their information about science from actual scientists"

 

Suncoaster
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“Life is trouble. Only death is not. To be alive is to undo your belt and look for trouble.”
― Zorba the Greek

"In the land of the blond the one eyed man is king."

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Suncoaster
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“I was happy, I knew that. While experiencing happiness, we have difficulty in being conscious of it. Only when the happiness is past and we look back on it do we suddenly realize – sometimes with astonishment – how happy we had been.”
― Zorba the Greek

"In the land of the blond the one eyed man is king."

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jacktheclipper
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" I travel light . "

 

Prot , from the movie K-PAX

Bort
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jacktheclipper wrote:

 

“ I travel light . “

 

Prot , from the movie K-PAX


i have yet to watch that movie

The Journal of Alternative Facts TM

"It is critical that there is a credible academic source for the growing and important discipline of alternative facts. This field of study will just keep winning, and we knew that all the best people would want to be on board. There is a real risk in the world today that people might be getting their information about science from actual scientists"

 

jacktheclipper
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Bort wrote:
jacktheclipper wrote:

 

" I travel light . "

 

Prot , from the movie K-PAX

i have yet to watch that movie

You should . It is a philosophically interesting movie , and Kevin Spacey is , as always , great .

mhemling33
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“I have the key in my hand, all I have to find is the lock”

Bort
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mhemling33 wrote:
“I have the key in my hand, all I have to find is the lock”

whats that from?
I think its the opposite in real life, you have the lock and have to find the key

The Journal of Alternative Facts TM

"It is critical that there is a credible academic source for the growing and important discipline of alternative facts. This field of study will just keep winning, and we knew that all the best people would want to be on board. There is a real risk in the world today that people might be getting their information about science from actual scientists"

 

saypat
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“There are two ways to get enough: one is to continue to accumulate more and more. The other is to desire less.” — G. K. Chesterton

another one:

there are 2 kinds of people in the world:

  1. walks into a room and says “here I am!”
  1. walks into a room and says “ah, there you are.”
Bucket
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...mercy to the guilty is cruelty to the innocent...

 --Adam Smith The Theory of Moral Sentiments, p. 170


Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen. 

-Albert Einstein


It's not that I'm so smart , it's just that I stay with problems longer. 

-Albert Einstein



The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax. 

-Albert Einstein


“Buzzards gotta eat.  Same as worms.”

-Josey Wales


The worst thing you can do for those you love is the things they could and should do themselves. 

-Abraham Lincoln 


Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves. 

-Abraham Lincoln 


 

 

“Guns are no more responsible for killing people than the spoon is responsible for making Rosie O'Donnell fat.”

-Unknown


"Failing to prepare...is preparing to fail."

-My Dad


Lastly, my sig line.


“If you don’t read the newspaper, you are uninformed; if you do read the newspaper, you are misinformed.”
—Mark Twain

kralyevski
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“the easiest way to become a MILLIONAIRE is: first you become a BILLIONAIRE than you start to be flashaholic”

Suncoaster
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Motorcycles have put me in touch with wonderful people,
as a result of that, I have an elevated idea about how good everybody in the world is.
-Ted Simon

"In the land of the blond the one eyed man is king."

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armstrongracer
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For Lehman bros.

“Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank”
“Give a man a bank and he can rob the world”

Danglerb
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zelee wrote:
what didn’t kill you the first time usually will try it again next time

My version, That which does not kill you may not be finished.

Anything worth doing, is worth doing at a profit.

Nobody ever got rich without screwing their mates.

Nobody ever went broke underestimating good taste.

Still a bit dim

Danglerb
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You can’t polish a turd, but you can roll it in glitter.

Still a bit dim

dchomak
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trooplewis wrote:

Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.

Murphy.

 

Murphy was an optimist

Smith.

Murphy’s Law wasn’t named after Murphy………..

It was some other guy with the same name. Big Smile

saypat
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Pain: God’s darker means of grace

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