This is the Best time of year to buy flashlights...

A light brown package arrives in the mail.

The Mrs. looks at me with "those eyes" and says, "You didn't buy another flashlight, did you"

"Honey, do you know what Dec 25th is?"

"Well of course"

"Then you will just have to wait until then to find out what is in the package."

I'm surprised she hasn't cottoned on that you've bought yourself yet another Christmas present......