Deer Turrets
Man and wife are sitting in front of the TV. Woman watching some show. Man reading a paper.
Suddenly the man says: OMG, I’m reading men in can earn $50/pop for sleeping with women.
The woman pulls out a calculator and says: since when can you stay alive on $45.83 per month?
PS I won’t reveal where is. Too afraid you get there before me.
Posting any more jokes that aren't funny ... will be dealt with severely.
What do you call a naked woman on the beach? Sandy
What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Eileen
What do you call a man who’s accident prone? ……………………AL
Huh? I don’t get it.
The monkey without a hat ate part of a pickle that was found in the shower of a gym...
which is extremely gross...
and hilarious!
Ummmmm, okay, I’ll take your word for it.
Must be that New Humor…
At a funeral the grieving widow asks if anybody would like to say anything.
A man in the congregation stands up and walks to the head of the coffin, says “plethora” and sits down again.
” Thank you” said the widow, “it would have meant a lot to him”.
A photon is going through airport security. The TSA agent asks if he has any luggage. The photon says, “No, I’m traveling light.”
Two men and one woman were stranded on a deserted island.
After two weeks the woman was so ashamed of what she was doing, she killed herself .
Two weeks later the men were so ashamed of what they were doing , they buried her .
Two weeks after that the men were so ashamed of what they were doing , they dug her up .
I never used to think I could be turned on by population statistics.
Then I came to my census.
What is the difference between a terrorist and an Italian wife ?
You can negotiate with a terrorist !
My friends are great, they're always there when they need me
Q: What do you call a religious person who says the world is coming to an end?
A: A crackpot!
Q: What do you call a secular person who says the world is coming to an end?
A: An environmentalist!
man and wife go to a zoo
zoo only has one dog
wife says there’s only 1 dog here
man says, yeah, it’s kind of a ’’shih tzu”