LOL!
Especially this part...
"She thinks I've become financially irresponsible. But money can purchase diverse things, and why should our rent be more important than superior knurling?"
LMAO here :-)
It was a Dark and Stormy night, the kind of night when a nice cuppa Earl Grey tea would not come amiss. When at last a cheery "ding" emanated from the microwave across the room, I arose, and had taken nary a step, when suddenly the room was illuminated by a blast of lightening that was reminiscent of the terrible glow which once hovered over Hiroshima. And then the lights went out.
As I stood uncertainly in the pitch black cavern that had been my kitchen, I was suddenly filled by a warm feeling of confidence as I recalled that within my very pocket I had the perfect solution to my dilemma!!!
As a regular member of CPF, I had read asiduously the golden words authored by the Masters of the Flashlight Craft. Therefore, within my grasp was my Webley-Vickers 48650 Pocket Light Canon (V3.9). I had learned my lessons well!!! No silly Budget Lights for me!!!
But alas!!! As I confidently pressed the tailswitch (forward clicky with momentary On, of course), my hopes were dashed as my $800 flashlight blinked three times and then went as dark as the mouth of the cave that leads to the Temple of Doom.
But wait! Across the room, near the table where I had left two Red,silver and black Ultrafire 3000mA cells in the charger 24 hours before, a pair of glowing red spots stared at me like the eyes of some rough beast, its hour come round at last, waiting to be born.
As I watched, the pair of hideous eyes grew and grew, illuminating the room like the glow from the gates of Hell. One of the glowing spots began to spew noxious fumes, smelling not of brimstone and sulphur, but of Lithium!
As my mind struggled in vain to grasp the meaning of this macabre scene, there came an explosion, as if two IEDs had gone off in my face.
As my life's final curtain came down, with my last dying breath, my final thought was, "Why didn't I pay more attention to that article by Douglas Anthony Cooper in Huffington Post?".
Nice Steve!
-Garry
Aw shucks 
Well whaddya know? A news article that mentions BLF! A huge thanks to all of our friendly, informative users here that make this such a special place.
I *love* the article! :D
Funny and utterly sincere. Written by a real addict, with all the *real* knowledge of a person that knows the depths of the darkness (and how to fight it). ;)
Viktor