Another true story…….
Way way back in me early 20’s my home lord of which I rented a room from invited a bunch of her gal friends over. Ann and me became close friends easily and being she was significantly older she affectionately called me, “Puppy”.
I was the only male there and had just walked in the house with no introductions. (By then I had already deduced that Ann batted left and so did her feem friends. I’m ok with that.)
So me and the gals including Ann ended up sitting in a big big circle on her hardwood living room floor. Remember no introductions. The conversational silence was kinda deafening. Other than a whisper or two between some of the gals I was mum, leaning back on my elbows about 10 feet from the closest gal taking the awkward situation in. They certainly indicated with body language no one wanted to get to know me.
About 5 minutes of this goes by and I really had to fart so I figured I could just do a single cheek raise and carefully, slooooowly squeeze one out a bit to relieve the mounting pressure. I had confidence it could be pulled off.
Well it WASN’T SILENT by any stretch of the imagination. The hardwood floor literally vibrated.
“PUPPY!!! ARE YOU FEELING BETTER NOW?”, Ann said laughing.
I looked around and all I saw was disgust. Smirking, vile looking glares.
That was it for that circle encounter. I stood up and went back to my room. I mean watt could I say?..…
“It was a pleasure farting loudly in front of all of you. Glad to meet ya!”
To this day I believe I’ve likely helped re-reinforce their opinions of males for generations to come.
Yup, I certainly helped put the cork in the bottle with that one. 