Nice thorough review!
I went for one just because I had a gift certificate that covered the cost. I also went for the red. It’s a cute little thing and more of a toy but I like toys. 
I don’t care for it’s dedicated charger but I’m sure they did that to retain it’s water resistance. Of course I also don’t care care for the rubber flaps that cover the charging ports on so many lights nowadays as they’re so prone to breakage.
I like it’s simple U.I. and it’s bright enough to navigate in the dark. I like the fairly powerful magnetic bottom and useful for say attaching under the hood of a vehicle for checking the oil or emergency work when dark. I think as you, with the blinking red mode it would also make a useful emergency roadside warning light.
All in all I like it and as you, I won’t utilize it much but it’s a fun little thing.